My question is: “Why do girls never text first?”. To text someone first is a big deal nowadays. You don’t know how to start, how to approach the person, whether to do it formally or friendly, you don’t know how they like to be greeted… This is why most of us get stuck. But girls don’t usually write first, only when needed.
Neither do I, I don’t know how to start a conversation with a stranger, but at least I’m trying.
I tried to get the answers straight from the source, so… Ladies and gentlemen, here is why girls never text first!
To me, it’s something absolutely psychological. I cannot start a conversation with someone, because I’m talking for hours and I feel like I’m annoying the people I’m messaging. Maybe this is a flaw, but I don’t talk to anyone, I choose my conversation partners wisely. I got used to text only when really needed, otherwise you can’t get rid of me.
I like to be searched for, sometimes I text – rarely- even if I’m not really interested. But… I wouldn’t want to bother, I always have this feeling and it’s better to pull back before anything, so I don’t have anything to lose.
First of all, I’m afraid of what can come next. If you are too sincere, they can screenshot the conversation and send it to their groups. They can make fun of you. You can never trust strangers, even tho you might want to talk to them about something.
Secondly, they can ignore the message and leave you in the “message request” section, just to “track their record”. If they actually answer, the aim is not actually to make yourself familiar, but to identify people with common values, who can be useful in the future. However, we can’t prevent being made fun of.
I’d be a hypocrite if I said I have never texted first. However, we girls, got used to boys texting first. I personally believe that texting to a girl is an important and nice first step.
The bravest answer: Andreea, 20
A girl won’t text first because men, with their stupid vanity, will consider them as their trophy. Women need to see initiative, because they want protection, masculinity, bravery.
What can we understand from these answers?
Girls can be embarassed too. They keep distance from the ones who don’t have a soul and from those who take advantage of people, blackmail or harass. In the end, we all feel the same, but the solutions are different. Girls never text first because this is their solution to the general problem.
Psychologically, the emotional lockouts appear after the first negative experience, and are supposed to stop us from actions that provide emotional implication. We are just like some phones which access movie sites and series and receives ads on every click. We block ourselves, we try to emotionally recover ourselves. This is the source of the problem of “who texts first”.
Mary declares that she is too embarrassed to text first, which means that she has an emotional lockout. Andreea is determined, she knows what she wants and she managed to pass some barriers which, for others, represent unreachable objectives.
My advice is to use your feelings smartly. Don’t waste the big words, because they will lose their value. Try to advance gradually. Otherwise, you can have an emotional lockout and, why not, PTSD.