Why are there no dating apps for monogamous people?


The Internet has become a commodity only in recent years. For a long time, we were talking only about e-mails. Then, the first truly modern dating site launched, called Kiss.com. Then, society evolved, the world became more open towards fetishes and lots of communities with common passions formed. Still, apparently, wanting a single partner isn’t something that society needs to create an app about. Why are there no dating apps for monogamous people?

*Disclaimer: There are probably some small apps, but after intense online research, we couldn’t find anything major that has big promotional campaigns or millions of users*

Human life revolves around finding the ideal partner.

It is a dream nourished since childhood through Prince Charming stories (but rich and good looking, and that’s a must), and princesses competing for beauty. Uncle Edd planted this idea in your mind a few years later:

“Don’t you have a girlfriend? Oh, you have more than one, that’s why you’re so secretive. I know how it is.”

Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise us that there are dozens of apps that promise to satisfy your desire, arranging a date with a cool man or woman. Ideally, they’re driving a BMW or some other fancy car (case by case situation).

Monogamy, polygamy, and dating apps

These apps revolve around a simple concept: you create a description, and then they match you with people, who, in theory, have common passions and tastes. This is done to facilitate a possible friendship between potential partners. WARNING! Everything is just in theory!

The choice is the main engine, liberty is the foremost law.

That’s why we understand there can be limitations regarding preferences or other subjective aspects. However, due to the fact that there are a lot of apps dedicated to certain groups of interest, there are no dating apps for monogamous people.

Tinder, the most popular app of this type, offers discretion. You’re the only person who sees your profile in its entirety. It means that you’re the only one who knows who you’ve matched with, and only you can read the conversation. Consequently, you can talk to as many people as you like. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to do it.

And so, involuntarily, trying to protect the individual’s intimacy, some behaviors perceived as  “unloyal” by some are encouraged. The majority of cults support monogamy openly, which has become the social norm.

The reality, however, is that monogamy loses part of its popularity, especially among Millenials and Generation Z. The dysfunctional families that raised them had a lasting impact on them. The terms “marriage”, “wedding”, are virtually a taboo. This is an exceptionally depressive feat, and risky for the next generation.

Young people prefer to be free to leave if something bothers them, instead of risking so many compromises that’ll make them empty beings, beings that treat themselves with frustration, violence, and vices. Of course, it may not be bad, but try to understand the general fear among young people that leads them to believe that marriage is like a dangerous prison.

Okay. Where do we stand in relation to publicly acknowledged polygamy?

It was banned since the middle of the 19th century in the US and still represents an international controversy. It’s considered illegal and/or criminalized in various countries. Of course, there are some variations that have become more accepted.

Polygyny (a man marries more than one woman) is such an example, common in the Islamic states. On the other hand, polyandry (a woman marries more men), if real, is invisible in the public space.

Coming back, why are there no dating apps for monogamous people?

Like we said above, in theory, monogamy represents a choice with long term consequences. You choose a single person as a partner and support, and they choose you. It’s something very simple on paper and criminally hard in a society where some values are almost extinct.

This choice is something considered normal, frequent in daily life. In the same way that heterosexuality is the default of society, monogamy is the default as well. Polygamy, on the other hand, being <theoretically> less common, receives another treatment, having special apps designed this way.

Evidently, everything is pure demagogy, but an exceptionally nuanced one.

Assumed polygamy is extraordinarily rare, more so in Europe. On the other hand, “false polygamy”, meaning the pleasure of “being on both sides of a fence” is ridiculously common. In our opinion, we think it’s even more frequent than actual monogamy.

Everything makes sense. We are in a poorly assumed society, where demagogy, hypocrisy and falsity reign supreme. From the relations between states to the relation between parents, everything is based on interest (emotional or material) and false statements. It’s no wonder that one of the most common arguments for intending a divorce is unloyalty on one or both sides.

In conclusion, dating apps showcase different people and possibilities to you, but you’re the one who has the last word.

And I don’t try to impose anything on anybody, but just like racism towards white people is still racism, it would be nice for monogamy to have its apps. Sites where, when you log in, you know almost for sure that you have THIS in common with whoever is on there. Otherwise, our ambition would destroy the manifestation of our diversity.

And to those who still haven’t found their soulmate, I suggest watching this video, filled by the wisdom of a married woman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sOlwpSBBJ0

Authors: Aderov Sofia & Cornea Catalin

If you want to know more about monogamy and polygamy, check this article.


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