February, the month of love, brings out not only love but also hurtful memories about love or a relationship we were in. All of us remember something unpleasant about a big relationship of ours. We have to admit that no romance, relationship or big love was and will never be perfect. If you want to see it that way, it’s to your advantage or disadvantage. I believe that everyone can take a minute in which they can think of the last time they were in love and, for sure, something unpleasant will also go through their mind. From an unspoken romance to friend-zone, from attempts of being together to rejection or from the disappearance or constant apparition of a loved person, all of them can be in the memory of a single human. So… When do you know that your relationship is dead?
Even if reactions can be different, feelings could be the same. Here you can read more about sentiments left over from friend-zone.
But the subject we’ll discuss today is that of the people that don’t have a constant course in your life. The persons that have been giving you hope for something more and then they disappeared or became cold. Hmmm… sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Why would you lead someone on only to then ruin them?
The causes of a person not having a constant course in your life could be diverse. I don’t want to excuse anybody or take someone’s part, but sometimes we should open our eyes and see everything around us. It’s beautiful to give affection to someone close to you, but you shouldn’t be complacent in the affection you never had until now. You are two beautiful people and you’re better off being affectionate with someone who earned it, one who loves you as you do.
Why complicate your life and have emotional blockages because you are complacent in a sad love. Don’t give love if you don’t feel like it. Don’t give someone the impression that you love them. If you continue to commit to it without feeling true love, you’ll only get a sad romance. You can’t force yourself to love someone or stay in a relationship. You can tell them 100 times “I love you!”, but the situation won’t change. It’s better to be honest with everyone and put an end to it.
“An end and with another one all over again,” said Marius Tucă in one of his poems
An end to the love, that isn’t actually love, is purely just a projection of your need for affection. And a point for the love that you expect to receive in the future. Don’t ever take the same habits with you, that brought you grief. Stop having hope to give, even if you don’t want anything in exchange. Don’t be the same person that provokes confusion.
We all bottle sentiments that are just shy of eruption
It’s not healthy to bottle up everything because you’ll be stressed and you will have questions like “ What if?” for yourself. Go out for a walk this evening, stay on a bench during a rainy afternoon, try and confess face to face and make visual contact. Be honest, don’t hesitate about the details, so you won’t regret it later.
I gathered sentiments like that until I thought it was too late, but I had the power to tell myself no. And yes, I’m one of those people that give false hopes. I started a relationship, even if I didn’t have hopes for the future. But I figured that it wasn’t ok, firstly for me, and then for the person that had hope. I told myself that I don’t want to be like that, but I was. And, in the end, I changed that.
When do you know that it’s time to give up?
That’s when you offer love that doesn’t come back. When you feel that you’re not appreciated enough for what you give. You shouldn’t give up on what you feel, you can’t force yourself to do that. |But you can stop doing things that remind you of that person. You can stop doing romantic gestures, so your sentiments remain constant or become low in intensity. Sometimes it’s better to drop what you love. You’ll encounter love all throughout your life, so live in the moment!
Don’t disappoint yourself by believing that in the future there will be something between you two or that you can maintain a relationship, even if you don’t feel it. It’s better to let go and take care of yourself and your activities or passions that you have. Now, you can go out with your friends and feel wonderful with them, because, apparently, there’s plenty of people in this world that can make you feel good apart from him/her. Run away, have fun and be happy that you can spend more time developing yourself. Read what you like, try even “Anatomy of Love” by Helen Fisher.
Not one thing that happens to you will stay imprinted in your soul
It will hurt, you’ll know it’s there, but it won’t be evident. I was told to take everything as an experience. Because, yes, life is full of experiences. I gave hopes chaotically, it was an experience. I received chaotic experiences, that was also an experience. If you’re open to feeling and experimenting, life won’t be so harsh with you.
Authors: Aurora Sofia Uifelean and Ana Retegan