Everyone has had, for at least once in their life, the feeling that they have whatsoever no control of their own life. This happens mostly when we are teenagers and our parents feel free to take decisions for us. Or even when, as young adults, our parents still feel the need to hold the reins. This is also the case of the well-known singer, Britney Spears.
This particular feeling can also occur during breakdowns. It consists of being struck by the fact that the life we live is just made up by the consequences of everyone that has ever lived.
Feeling that I am not in control makes me absolutely lose my mind. Have you ever been here as well? Well, I guess we both know that that was not the last time. Here are the things I suggest you do whenever you find yourself in this place:
What better way to calm yourself down other than taking a good look at life? At the way it manifests itself? I am fascinated by the way hair pokes through the skin, or the way plants grow. Whenever I connect myself with nature, I then live just for the sake of observing life further.
And the science behind life is pretty great too:
Have you had an ancient history or Stephen Hawking documentary phase? Exactly as death, this is inevitable. The Aztec, the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians, the Mayans… Do not tell me that you have never binge-watched history or science documentaries. I would never believe you.
These are full of fun facts about our ancestors and the way they did life, or about how the world is made up. They all suggest how ephemeral we and what we do are, thus relieving us of all the pressure.
It is perfectly normal for social beings to wish for deep human connections, for love, for empathy, validation and so forth. While we may sometimes be good by ourselves, when bad existentialist breakdowns hit, we all feel the need to reach for our loved ones.
I talk out the frustration of not being able to fully control my future, present and past with people I love. Moreover, while I may not have more than 2 friends, they always make me feel better.
Whether you believe in yourself, in God, or the power of the Universe, being spiritual is always a good idea when you are feeling powerless. Not only does it take the burden of having to daily decide your way of living off your shoulders, but it also makes you feel safe and cared about.
Whenever I tell people that I read my horoscope from 4 places daily, they always make sure to tell me that I am losing my time because it is surely “made up”… as if money or food or any other thing are not made up.
As I have grown up to be a people pleaser, scared of not disappointing others, horoscopes were the only ones that gave me guidance and direction in my daily life. I have always felt like getting a general idea about my day before it started, was what eased me from the anxiety and stress I had going on.
I have been watching and doing tarot for the same reason why I have been reading my horoscope. This has grown into a passion for me, and now I do tarot readings to my family and friends just for fun.
Cutting days off the calendar may be my most favourite thing yet. I have been doing it ever since I was 14 for the simple reason that I feel stuck in time, no matter how busy I get during the day.
Seeing a calendar with days cut off of it makes me aware of the progress I have done throughout the days. I never seem to appreciate myself enough if I do not take into consideration how many things I have lived through.
Bob Ross is the best painter in the whole world and you will never have the opportunity to change my mind in this matter. His calm, fearlessness and love for life are always contagious.
I am keen on following his tutorials but in Google Paint, not painting traditionally. The results are incredible, try it out!
I know all these may not necessarily work for you. All I’m hoping is that my confession will help you find hobbies, small things you do, or even a routine that makes you feel secure.
If you’re ever afraid to take control and decide for yourself, consider you’re doing it for the people that don’t have a choice!
Stay safe and make good choices!