We all watched movies and cartoons about friendship growing up. The ones that teach us how important it is to be kind. And the importance of support and friendship in our lives. But who is here to teach us how to choose our friends? And what is more important to you, having a few good friends or a big friend group?
There is an Arabic saying that says “Stay among people for 40 days and you will either become one of them or vanish”. Meaning that it only takes 40 days for you to either become like the people you are with. or decide that you don’t want them. This old saying only confirms the effect that the people you surround yourself with have on you.
How much of an effect do your friends have?
Humans are social beings; we need relationships and closeness in our lives. It is in our nature to look for companionship. To be able to share the good and bad aspects in life together. And because we need this closeness so badly, we tend to look for it in the wrong places. For instance, when we parents tell they teenage kids to not hangout with the wrong group.
We are so aware of matter and yet we ignore it so much as adults. We think that after adolescence we are adults and we can finally choose freely. But in reality, that when the real test begins. That’s when you have to put to use all of the things you learned in your teenage years.
And I am not only referring to the “drugs and parties” kind of people. I am talking about the friends that don’t want what’s best for you. The ones that don’t want to see you grow and become better. And above all, the friends that are afraid of you becoming better than them. But at this point they shouldn’t even be called friends.
Be aware of those you surround yourself with. Choose carefully and have high standards for the people that get a spot next to you.
I know you might think that you are not influenceable and how your friends will not rub onto you. But it’s actually the opposite. You see, when I say that they influence you I don’t mean that they drag you around and make you do what they do. But with time and constant contact humans tend to become more and more similar. You start slowly by liking the same music and shows. To relating on a more personal level and sharing more and more. Till one day you wake up and realize that you talk and act the same way. Similarly, it happens to couples that slowly start to have one shared personality.
But it’s not only your taste and humor that changes. It is also your personality. Especially in your teenage years and 20’s. Those are the crucial years in each person’s life that mold them into the adult they become in the future. And those years the people you surround yourself with, will define the next 5 years of your life. The path you choose for your life in those years is influenced by them whether you like it or not. And it is up to you to decide how your life turns out.
Who should you surround yourself with?
Your 20’s are the years in which you should start building your life. The path you build for yourself now, is the one that you are going to walk on the next few years. And this is exactly why you need to make sure that your base is strong! I believe that the best people to surround yourself with right now, are the genuine people. The ones who love and support you for who you are. The ones that you don’t make you feel the need to wear a mask.
So, when you finally find those intelligent, mature and passionate friends. The ones that help you grow and become the best version of yourself. Hold onto them tight. Because they will be the key to your success. In other words, they will be your support, your power and the ones that will pick you up when you fall.so when you choose your friends, look for quality over quantity.