Teenagers’ confessions: “Not all of us are happy!”

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Not all of us are happy

‘Teenagers’ confessions’ constituted from the beginning a small but ambitious project. What we call ‘Teenagers’ confessions’, are, in fact, just our thoughts gathered in a series of articles on different topics. Last time we wrote an article about teens’ rights to an opinion and free speech and you can find it here. This time we are talking about something that affects us deeply and is not taken seriously: our mental health. Not all of us are happy!

Not all of us are happy

If you’ve got no emotion, you’re inhumane

“At least that’s what they usually say. And when your emotions are too much to handle and out of control, you could say you’re a superhuman. On the other hand, this could probably mean you are facing something destructive.

Such as anxiety, for instance

As a child, I was very shy, quiet and introverted. Growing up, some things changed. I did theater, which helped me on a personal and physical level to control my emotions, as much as possible. I’m still struggling with these, but it’s getting easier. It’s true that sometimes I get anxious, especially if I’m in a crowded place, with a lot of strangers and I have to do something or speak.

Depression is a very serious problem. You can’t brag about it. We have never had such problems, but have often been on the verge of it. You have to maintain a healthy mindset in order to stay sane. I have and I still got friends who bravely fight with depression. And they say it like it is already a part of their life, the suffering. I think it is enough to be depressed once in your life. Going through this illness every day is horrible.”- Robert

”Whenever I looked around me I could only see anxiety. The people were getting weirder and weirder.

After some time, when I became more content with myself, I realized I was the odd one.

I’ve always had a soft spot for those who suffer from depression because I know this disorder is almost invisible to some.

You feel the sorrow trickle down to your bones, to your veins and lastly, to your soul. A pain that can’t be cured, that is depression.

All around us, there are people that we don’t see suffering because they choose to hide their broken parts and instead, put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine.

Depression can have many causes. I believe this disorder can be long-lasting especially when your parents are the ones causing it. They are the reason their kid can’t sleep at night or even feel human anymore. Why? Because for them society’s opinion is more important than their child’s happiness.

And then, we have teachers. For some of them, no matter what you do and how hard you work, it’s just never enough. Some of them have this old-fashioned mindset, this way of treating students like they are insignificant to them. We have teachers that contribute to our development as young adults and then we have teachers that stop us from doing so.

Lastly, we have friends. Friends who can cause you so much pain through such small things. This kind of depression brings with itself major risks that can lead to a tragic ending.

Feelings are only bacterium that grow into our soul, without our permission, in such a way that, in time, they lead to us becoming our own enemies.” – Andrei Drugă

”To me, school was a living hell. My only reason for going there was to study, nothing more.

I have been a victim of bullying for 7 years and I’ve had anxiety for about 2 years. What do you want me to say? That life is beautiful? That things will get better? I don’t know if that’s how it is and I’m not going to lie to you, but you have two options: you either give up now or you turn everything into a life lesson and move on.

I don’t know if life is worth living, I don’t know if what we are living can be called life, but here is something I know for sure: there are some things worth living for and there are moments that are worth betting on all your money and hope for the correct numbers. Depression, anxiety – you choose how you see them, either as a cold or as a lethal disease. It’s up to you if you want them to be treatable or not.” – Anonymous

“Primary school kick-started my anxiety. Depression found me later on, in high school and it hugged me so tight like I was its first love and it didn’t want to let me go. We’ll get there, though. Baby steps.

What is anxiety, really?

Medically speaking, it makes your palms sweat, accelerate your pulse, give you unforgettable migraines and lastly, it will surely give some bad habits like nail biting. Emotionally speaking, though, it’s a whole different story. It manipulates you, makes you paranoid and nervous all the time. You always feel like everyone hates you or that you’re always bothering them. Anxiety makes you feel ashamed of yourself.

Because of anxiety, it was terribly hard for me to externalize myself. Like it wasn’t hard enough for me, years and years of bullying came along.

I decided to isolate myself and desperately try to detach myself from feelings. But how could I, a transient, banal human being, to leave this feeling behind, when it controls me and makes me live, not just exist? I started writing, as an escape. I stepped out of my comfort zone and I exceeded my limits. I gave a speech in front of over 800 people. It wasn’t simple and it certainly wasn’t fun. I wish I could say that after defeating my fear of speaking in public, my anxiety disappeared. But it didn’t. It’s still here, breathing down my neck.

At some point, because of the persons around us, we all start wondering if we’re good enough, if what we said was right or if people like us.

Anxiety is the fear of the unknown, of what could happen. If we let it win the war, we can easily say that, in that moment, we’ve lost ourselves. We’ve lost our authenticity, our essence, and our voice.

What about depression?

Depression, on the other hand, takes a little more to come into your life. Unrequited love, a broken dream, a scattered hope and so on. They may seem insignificant, but in reality, the little things and gestures aren’t little at all. They have unimaginable power, just like love.

Depression isn’t something that you can be proud of, so you do your best to hide it from others. You give society your best smile, your funniest jokes and try to cheer up others when they’re down, even though you are in a bad place yourself.

At the end of the day, you come home, take off your mask and let the tears you’ve been holding back stream down your face.

When you’re depressed, you are always lethargic, tired, you don’t like anything anymore, you can’t find any good reasons to live for and it’s almost like you are hollow. You feel like you’ve suddenly become a black hole in your own galaxy and you can feel your real self disappearing into the void. You are aware of what is happening and you hate it, but what can you do to stop it? Someone telling you to stop being sad because life is worth living will not save you from depression. If anything, those people only worsen the situation.

Depression and anxiety can be overcame only by making peace with yourself. Not by being happy, because happiness is only an illusion that only the lucky ones are able to create. The peace of mind is the only cure. – Ligia Cehan

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