Suicide – the end of a story

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Suiciide

Suicide –  The act of killing oneself, as a result of internal struggles
Even since 1960 when the suicidal thoughts where on a scale of 1 in 2,7 million people, suicide has been a global problem, especially amongst young people. The act of actually killing oneself, to give up on every bit of love, of understanding and kindness, insulate them from real life, affecting about one million people yearly.

They say they’re weak, but I believe that they are strong. They are brave and till they ended up at this heartbreaking end, they called for any help.

Maybe they didn’t yell with the highest voices, but they tried for many years to overcome depression, being alone, day by day issues, the mental and medical ones. They fought with the thought of committing suicide.
They fought till the last minute, they tried to fight the pain, but sadly they failed. Because many of us haven’t seen how life is lost or maybe we passed right by them, unmoved.
In the past and even in the present day, depression has been considered a trifle, even a joke, being called, a rich man’s disease”.

Just an autopsy

Many studies have shown us that the many risk factors are mentality, health, and excessive alcohol consumption, which, in the end, is making you into an impulsive demon, ending up believing that nothing matters and that it would be easier to end life. That the earth is a better place without you.
When someone leaves this world, a lot of loving, and now hurt, people, family, and friends stay behind.
What stays behind is the sorrow. Saying that maybe, I could be better, I could move for her or him”, but in the end, all you got to do is a mental autopsy based on which, some doctors are going to say that, it was a suicide “.

suicide

Illness – eternal issue who always raised a lot of questions

The urge of religious people to pray to a divine force to help them is in the present, even in the cases where suicide seems the last ultimate getaway.
Anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia; they make you feel different from the others. They talk you into self-isolation, especially in the cases of people who passed by the second age.
The souls lost in the abyss need attention, love, kindness, and care and especially from the people who want to help.
Nowadays, society is evermore judging. And the most horrible thing you can do to a man who is yelling for help is to judge them for it.

You want to know more about mental illnesses? You can check this article!

People need more examples and less criticism

Sometimes we don’t think that a lot of our friends are in this situation, that they are feeling trapped in a room that they can’t get out of and then they will start doing what the most simple thing for them at that moment is: they start drinking a lot, taking drugs, they seem to part ways with the outside world, starting to lose every last piece of trust in the world.
There are a lot of cases where family, the people who have to support them, are blaming them, and they are therefore forced to find help amongst strangers.

A sad story

Living in a small village, every single story is news to us. When something happened, all the villagers knew about it. We heard about a woman who killed herself in the back of her house, where she lived with her two children of 10 and 7 years old.

Nobody thought she would

Nobody thought the woman would ever do that, but nobody knows her real story. The story behind her fake smile.
We didn’t know about her mother, who killed herself in front of her when she was 8, asphyxiated in front of her, in the kitchen. We didn’t know about the demons that were haunting her and about her severely deep depression, till the day she decided to let go of her family, her job and her friends.
This is a case that has to do with the competence of mental healthcare. Maybe if she was asking for help, somebody would have known and then somebody would have helped her. But instead, she stayed silent and alone, without a friend who was capable to help her.
Suicide is a final solution for temporary problems.

This was a sad case, but we have another one from a good friend of mine, called Ruben, from The Netherlands. He is 19 years old.

L: Hello Ruben! I want to tell you, thank you” for being so supportive and for accepting this interview.
R: Hello Laura! Thank you too for sharing my story. Hopefully, it can help a lot of people.
L: Firstly, I want to ask you: what made you go so far? What made you try to end your life?
R: What made me try to end my life was a manic frenzy (the worst outing of depression), combined with a lot of fights and a very bad relationship, an abusive one. I was in so deep that I lost control, hating myself and being manic led to me taking a lot of pills, having an overdose.
L: I’m very sorry to hear that. Who helped you to get over it and who are we to thank for you being here with us today?
R: A runner, who saw me laying on the ground by sheer dumb luck, saved my life. Then my parents, all my family and a very close group of friends helped me get back on my feet. I will be eternally grateful for being there for me.

L: Do you still have moments when you have suicidal thoughts?
R: Sometimes, I do have suicidal thoughts. This is not exactly that surprising because I still struggle with depression. But do I have actual concrete plans for killing myself anymore? No! Not!

L: Now, after you got over this stage, what do you think about suicide?
R: I think that suicide is not a solution. You are trapped. But taking your life only gives these feelings to 10 other people. Besides that, I honestly think that judging people struggling with such feelings is about the worst thing you can do. Give them a break for fuck sake!
L: Are you seeing a therapist or a doctor at this time?
R: Yes! As of recently, I’m seeing a therapist once a week. He helps me get away from my thoughts and the world around me. He gives me advice when I don’t know what to do with myself.
L: I’m really happy to hear that you’re getting all the help you need and that you changed your thinking. Maybe you can tell me more about your depressive moments and about the mask you put on in front of your friends?

R: When you’re deep in a depression, it is very hard to think that anyone wants to help you. Or that anyone is interested in you… And it’s impossible to constantly tell your friends all the things you struggle with.

It’s hard to show yourself in front of them, being so vulnerable. And then you start to put on a mask, to hide from them what you feel. But in the long term this just makes everything more difficult and, in some cases, you end up hating yourself even more. I ended up writing some poems which helped me to let go of all of my bad feelings.
L: Finally, what do you recommend to those who face these feelings?
R: Hmm… I want to tell them that there are a lot of things worth living for. Friends, family, love (which came for me when I least expected it to). Just a little advice which I live by you shouldn’t care about what everyone else is thinking about you, about your cries for help. You’re doing the right thing for yourself, remember that. However hard it may be.
Get therapy if you need it and be brave enough to accept that you need help.

Those are the poems written by Ruben in the time when he was struggling with depression:

You know you’re not fine.
But your pain doesn’t matter to them.
You know you struggle to deal with yourself crying.
But of hearing about that no one’s a fan.
So every morning you put on your mask.
You act like nothing is wrong.
If only they wanted to listen to the pain inside you.
You, feeling it ever so strong
I put my mask on
And look in my mirror
I put a smile on my face
To hide all my terror
I don’t want to show it
But why you ask
Well, you see
In reality, nobody gives a fuck about me
So on my inside, I drown in my emotions
And wish that someone cared
The outside may act all ferocious
But actually, I am scared

suicide

I laugh to hide my pain.
I think ‘please can someone end my life’.
Who am I even trying to fool?
Myself or some other fucking tool?
I don’t want to show that I’m depressed,
I want people to think of me in a happy kind of thought.
Even though happiness is all that I am not.

If you’re reading this article, maybe you will learn to stop treating the people struggling with suicidal tendencies differently.

Hopefully, this article will help you have more compassion for people who are struggling with this horrible illness. And if you think that you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for help from us, the people besides you, even if we’re just strangers to you.
Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Ask for help! Reach out!

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