Throughout my life, I have always found it difficult to control my emotions. Whether I had to speak in public or to be the center of attention in my friends group, I’ve always hidden myself behind the introvertedness wall. There are a few steps which can help you figure out your self control and emotions.
Emotions and shyness are not actually always that hard to control. It only takes some time not to feel like bursting into tears every time there’s a light pointing at you. Remember that practice makes it better. Not everyone is born without a protective shell.
How can you stay in control?
Self-control is the ability to organize your impulses and emotions to achieve long-term goals. From a psychological perspective, self-control is rooted in the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain responsible for planning, problem-solving, and decision making. The tricky part is that this type of control can fluctuate during the day. So don’t be too harsh on yourself if you lose it a little bit from time to time.
By definition, taming your emotions means channeling your attention from external stimuli to what you have to do. Take public speaking for example. When facing the piercing eyes of the audience, try to focus on something else. First of all, have a clear overview of your speech. Then imagine that you are rehearsing it in the mirror. Don’t be afraid to look at your listeners. That would give the impression of confidence and being in control of the situation. Hold a pen or play with your jewelry in a non-distracting way to hide your trembling hands. The same for a job interview. It all starts in the brain and we are all masters of your brains. Remember that self control and emotions go hand in hand.
Emotions and the relationship with others
Every reaction in relation to the external world is caused by some kind of emotion. While they are very helpful in your day to day development, they can put a mark on your relationships with others. That is, emotions have a word to say when it comes to how other people perceive you.
At first, emotions would be hard to manage. The key is to find the switch that will help you lose your feelings. You wouldn’t want to let them run at full speed, but you wouldn’t want to turn them off either, would you? Try to understand what you feel and don’t let it conquer you. Ask yourself: why do I feel uneasy when I meet new people? How can I express myself easier? or is there a psychological barrier between me and social interaction? How can I overcome that?
At the end of the day, it has to do with what makes you feel comfortable in your skin. Take a deep breath, give yourself some space and understanding. And the most important thing, accept your emotions as they come. They are not always your biggest enemy.