I’m here today to talk about sometimes the pressure to be in a relationship and about the toxicity of such a mentality.
We all know that society seems to be too involved in our private matters, such as dating, meeting new people, and even having relationships – meaning a boyfriend or a girlfriend, getting engaged, or even married. Well, I think everyone already knows that society has nothing to do with our intimate life, yet we continue to care about other people’s opinions or about the way our life can be regarded from the outside.
Society wants us weak
I know the former statement seems very much to be a conspiracy theory, but society wants us to fit in a certain pattern, more or less. Therefore, a single, strong and independent person is dangerous – because he or she will not settle, will not stick for less than deserved, and will not maintain toxic relationships that have no future.
It is the norm to be in a relationship at any age – to have a boyfriend/girlfriend at 20, to be engaged by 25, and perhaps married by 28. But how about us, normal people, who don’t fit the norm just because ”our biological clock ticks”? Aren’t we allowed to follow our own rhythm and march to our own beat?
Of course, we are allowed. In fact, I am here to intently encourage you to take things slowly and not jump in relationships just because your parents, friends, or society itself pushes you to date.
Relationships are not normal – in fact, the idea that we should spend our life with another person FOREVER is an artificial concept, created by people who are scared to be on their own. And, naturally, I am not here to judge people who are in a relationship or happily married, but to normalize the opposite social estate – being happily single!
Be happy because you have you
We are always going to look for something – we are going to look for a bigger house, a better relationship, a better job. But the trick in life is, no matter what you’re looking for, educate yourself to be at peace with who you are and what you want!
The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself – no one else owes you anything.
If you start a relationship all needy and desperate, you’ll end up with your heart broken because no one can offer you the love you need from yourself!
I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth!
The best relationships are those based on self-confidence and mutual respect – you only cherish the bond with your partner, without creating a highly claustrophobic environment.
Stop comparing yourself with other people on social media
You know, it’s really great to be a zoomer, but at the same time, it can come with A LOT of social anxiety. Knowing so much about other people’s lives can make you feel like you’re left behind sometimes – your colleagues get married, your friends date and perhaps you’re still single.
The wise thing to do is turn off your phone, go for a walk, discuss with someone that is not too influenced by the social standards and give yourself time.
I’m not going to say this twice, but you’re safer by yourself than in an abusive, toxic relationship.
So this is it for today, I hope I offered you reassurance about yourself and the place where you are now in life – remember always to take it easy and ask yourself if something is what you truly desire or imposed by society!