Poetry would be my first favourite thing in the world if I were to make a list of the top ten things I adore. Reading and writing poetry keeps me alive and in a good mood (even though my poetry is not the most optimistic). And because I am a “poet” and a hopeless romantic who loves Dead Poets Society, I found a perfect playlist for writing poetry.
Is common for teenagers to express their traumas or wounds through art and poetry. The saddest part is that adults tend to neglect our art way too often.
Explaining my poetry
I’m tired of having nothing and no one. I’m tired of being nothing and nobody.
Like I discussed in a previous article, being a teenager is amazing for everybody except teenagers. The age when you don’t know whether you’re an adult or a child. Most people treat you like a child and they expect you to be mature like a grown-up.
It’s also the age when you lose friends. Some of us make new ones, some of us don’t. For me, being alone is everything; I can focus on my work and have some peace. Sitting in silence and just focusing on myself is the best self-care I can give myself. Just analyzing my thoughts, feelings and reactions helps me gain a little control over them and gives me another perspective, but this is a story for next time.
Anyway, feeling alone is worse than actually being alone. So everyone should have a friend or a parent they can talk to when things get hard. And even talking to yourself helps a lot (in my case, poetry helps). Remember that you are the only one who is with you till the end of the line; so you might as well be on good terms with yourself.
Crying over dead people won’t bring them back. Calling dead people’s names won’t bring them back. Writing letters to dead people won’t bring them back. Just let dead people go.
Two years ago I lost my grandfather, who was also my best friend, and I was devastated. I cried myself to sleep every night trying to comprehend the fact that he is not here anymore. He died in May, and I remember writing in my journal at the beginning of the month “May this month be fantastic…” and oh my Lord how the tables have turned. I think that was the most horrible month of my life. A complete disaster.
Eventually, summer came, and we accepted the idea that he is gone, so I wrote this poem to remind myself that, no matter how much I miss his stories and his jokes, he is not coming back. But now I go to his grave to plant some flowers and light a candle and I just know he is in a better place. So if you recently lost someone you loved, just know that it gets better with time. And as much as it hurts, remembering them laughing can heal you.
Stressing myself out over and over again Crying myself out over and over again But as long as the sun is up I’m still trying.
One thing that makes me want to wake up in the morning is knowing I am capable of great things. I know I can do and be better. This is my ‘mantra’, and I repeat it to myself whenever I feel like giving up. Another thing that keeps me going is a quote from the book “One day in December” by Josie Silver, and it goes like this: “…there are other places, and there will be other times”.
If you are struggling right now, keep going. And I know it sounds impossible because I’ve been there, and I still find myself there sometimes. But life goes on, and it would be a shame to just go through life and not stop to admire its beauty: the majestic flowers in spring, the summer heat, the leaves falling in autumn, ice cream, cinnamon and pumpkins, music and books, and lovely people you haven’t met yet. Keep going. It’s worth it.