We all had (or have) a mate or a friend who seems nearly “perfect”.
He’s got a good life: a happy family, money, freedom, many friends, popularity. We just see their good parts. Inferiority complexes apear when self esteem is low (commonly for teenagers). Inferiority complex – the modern teenagers’ disease!
Frequently, the cause of this is bullying.
Teens need to be apreciated, loved, to feel like they belong to someone, to have a life purpose. But when they hear „You are ugly”, „Nobody likes you”, „You’re awkward”, “We don’t want you”, „You’re fat”, they start to believe other’s opinion, even if they’re not true, and their self esteem significantly drops.
„Diana’s hair is beautiful!”
„I like Michaela’s eyes!”
„Fiona’s style is gorgeous!”
„What a perfect body Bianca has!”
„Delia has such beautiful legs!”
„What an expensive phone Simon has!”
„What a handsome boyfriend Emily has!”
„Andy is such a cool guy, he has many girls at his feet and he can do whatever he wants!”
„It’s really cool that Paul spends all of his nights in the club, he drinks a lot and smokes weed!”
I can never be like HIM/HER!
„Why should I go out? They will make fun of me. I am not good enough!”
„They are so lucky!”
„I want more friends!”
„My parents don’t let me the whole night out!”
- Fear of failing
- Fear of „making fun of you”
Many teens, because of their complexes, are uncomfortable in their bodies and they prefer to isolate themselves and ignore the people they consider superior (even though they could be true friends), but it can’t be always a solution.
First of all, you must find the source of your problem: you or your friend. Moreover, if it’s „your friends” and you are bullyed (maybe unintentionated), it’s better if you talk to them and say what you feel.
The, if they understand the problem and then change, you win your friends.
But if they are not changing, it would be indicated to ignore them. Due to their toxic behaviour, they are affecting your mental health. Also, you can request help from older people or even the authorities if it’s getting worse.
Nobody should be the subject of abuse or violence, verbally or phisycally.
If your friends don’t mind your complexes, the problem is you. You don’t have to dream about material things, family, friends or even others’ life. Try to acknowledge your own achievements, to find yourself, to fructify your passions and to appreciate people that stick around. Those are te ones that really love you and appologise when they are wrong. They want to be with you and to see you happy.
No relationship is perfect, fights are normal.
True friends don’t want to lose you
You must understand that there is always going to be someone better, but nobody’s perfect (cliche, I know, but it’s true).
You can go to your friends and talk about your inferiority complex. It is important to be honest, especially with you. Furthermore, it’s not that bad to go to a psychologist, because any problem must and can be solved.
Remember, you are a teen and your problems come and go, just as some people. Try to see the light at the end of the tunel.
Your body is changing, but you are more than flesh and bones.
You are going through a lot of moods, but you’re not alone. All of your friends are going through this. Nevertheless, it’s normal to not be able to and sometimes you should ask for some help, when needed. You’re only a human. I hope you’ll overcome the inferiority complex!
Author: Paula Moldovan