You may have asked yourselves plenty of times, why are we so afraid to confront the truth? Why do we all seem incapable of facing our fears? Why do we even have them?
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
Fears are unpleasant often strong emotions caused by anxiety or awareness of danger. I’d personally describe them as being larvae that our unconscious mind creates based on past experiences. They’re things we haven’t got over, and this may either be because we didn’t even try to, or because we let our lives get controlled by them.
Nonetheless, as this quote by James Baldwin mentions, not everything that is faced can be changed. Take, for example, the past. Every individual has to face their past in order to be at peace with themselves, or…with others.
Even though you’ve accepted your foretime, you can’t change the things you’ve done, said, chosen. But that’s just as fine, they don’t completely define us, as people constantly change.
If we flip that around, facing our past can change our future for the better.
For me, the future is the most important. I’m always working on being a better me and having a better life. However, one thing I almost always forget about is coming to terms with the past and present me.
On the other hand, you need to learn how to be yourself and speak your mind even when you anticipate that the people around you don’t want to hear your truth, even when it is uncomfortable.
You have to gain your courage to ask for the things you should be granted. I’m not only talking about respect or love, or, I don’t know… free health support, but also about smaller things such as advice, information. You shouldn’t figure it out on your own if other people were destined to help you.
Yes, I, too, am the type of person that wouldn’t raise any questions (cross my heart and hope to die!), no matter the circumstances. Coming from a disfunctional family, I’ve been raised into this skillful person. Skillful in a cunning and stealthy way, if you may.
This has helped me in various situations I’ve encountered throughout my life: buying gifts, getting in trouble as a kid, and so forth.
Being able to handle situations and then erasing your footprints demands lots of skill and knowledge, but experience equally.
As a matter of fact, this isn’t as healthy as I may have thought a few years ago, why deal with everything myself when I could, just as easily, ask for help? Just because I’m too polite to bother anyone else?
As for the rest, I have asked myself multiple times, how can you change something by just facing it? Turns out, the change isn’t in that thing, but in you, it’s in your attitude about that specific truth, it’s all in and about that state of acceptance. You then start seeing things differently, and you wholeheartedly believe you were that way for actually, ever.
To support my point, there’s this English idiom that says beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I believe roughness and ugliness are also, in the eye of the beholder, and not in the element itself.
Nevertheless, I have the confident hope that time’s just an illusion, so make sure you don’t only survive, but try to be as clear-headed as ever, let yourself be, let yourself live carefreely.