It’s happened before and it’s happening right now too: my friendships exasperated me since primary school. Every time I had to write about it, my artistic brain just stopped working.
Now, I understand that friendship is worth it
It’s a very simple thing that happens between people and it’s worth it because of the connections you form. Friendship is often so complex that you can’t put it into words, much alike love. Some people don’t even really get to live it at all.
I am not referring to myself but to my classmates that had to write the same text referring to friendship during school. I knew them enough to know that most of them are superficial and so were their works.
If in primary school I thought friendship was overrated now I know that I only disliked the way people treated it. Like it was nothing. I didn’t dislike friendship itself, I just hated how people described it because I knew that based on their description, they hadn’t yet experienced true friendship.
Even people that understand the worth of a friendship can hardly make the notion justice
I am not writing about this because I think I am above a category of people that I mentioned earlier, I am not doing this because I claim to know the perfect definition of friendship. I am just sharing my thoughts with you, dear reader in hopes of you understanding the hidden magic behind a friendship. A person that was lucky enough to come across such a thing.
Because I want to end this text on a good note and because I can’t talk about real friendship without showing you it’s extremes, I’ll first present to you a friendship that’s not really a friendship. Aristotel explained three types of friendships: the one you need, the one you seek and the perfect one in which people want what’s best for each other.
Between those three types, just the last one is worth the title of friendship, the other two are just accidental. Those two types of friendship can be made into a single type that I like to call fake or superficial friendship.
This is the one that’s most popular
The generation we live in had a massive explosion of technology, we live in a very dangerous time where no one knows the limits of. Technology made us more close-minded and sedentary but somehow still managed to preserve the feeling of freedom. The virtual world cultivated a lifestyle where you are dominated by so many superficial ideas.
This way friendships can be formed very easily between young people without considering if you share common interests such as music, games, books, movies.
In most cases, such things are enough for people to form a friendship
Sure, shared interests and ideas are very important but they alone can’t guarantee a connection that’s going to pass the test of time. This kind of friendship isn’t really complex because it is sustained by just common interests and that’s why it’s formed so easily by teenagers.
Next, we have friendships that are based on using each other. Although I, myself, saw very little of those, I don’t think I need to explain much about it. If we use people, we won’t ever be true friends with that person, we’ll just pretend so we can get things from them.
There is one type of friendship Aristotle failed to write about. Because it didn’t exist then.
The internet friendship
This kind of friendship is accessible by anyone, you don’t have to put a lot of effort into it. You don’t really have to be hit with the truth of the real world. You can hide behind a screen but as you can tell, it’s not real. It’s just a copy of a friendship. An imitation.
Between all those types of imperfect relationships, fake or made without good intentions there is indeed “true friendship”. It’s not a myth, you can see plenty of it if you look carefully enough. Friendship is pure and innocent, it’s not made, you just feel it. It comes to life by itself without our control. It’s very spontaneous the same way a flower grows in a random spot. It blooms from communication. It doesn’t have rules nor fear of being judged.
But above everything else, it’s born from love
When everything is temporary and fades away, friendship still caries the same virtue when the chaos of life gets in its way. You never actually leave a true friend. Friendship can be above marriage, love, blood bonds. A friendship can be formed in seconds or in years. It can be born out of love or out of hate. It can be between perfectly identical people or so different that you’d never expect it. Friendship is the strongest notion to mankind that we have.
In the end, friendship is a cathedral of the most beautiful architecture that two people can build between each other.
We realize it’s something close to divinity. Remember that a friendship needs to be maintained equally by both sides. True friendship is when you both get something good out of it. A best friend is someone that knows all of your sides, bad or good.
Like Elbert Hubbart used to say: “If they know you well enough, they’ll continue to like you”
I like to think true friendship exists even if I hadn’t yet experienced it myself. I keep believing that I’ll come across a life long connection.
If you share the same thoughts, you might want to check this article!
Photo: Andrei Bogdan