“Love means never having to say you`re sorry” – how to apply it in reality

Love means never having to say you`re sorry

If you are or were at some point in your life a hopeless romantic, then you sure have heard about Love Story and maybe even watched it. While the movie has its flaws and some unarguable qualities it is also the source of one of the most famous quotes in movie history: Love means never having to say you`re sorry.

It sure is a captivating sentence, easy to memorize and it may draw you to ponder over it and, why not, even live by it. But can it actually be a trap?

To me the line means you should always try to be the better version of yourself, that is, to do your best and focus on doing or saying things that will not bring you any kind of regret. 

The other edge of this sharp sword is that it may lead you on a very steep path. It may make you think that if the other one says he or she is sorry one too many times then that means he or she does not love you. Which, honestly, does not sound quite right. To my mind, if you love someone then you should swallow your pride once in a while and admit that you were wrong.

And yeah, don`t tell me a true love should be between two people who think and act the same and thus one should not have to apologize for doing something that is wrong in the other one`s eyes because no such thing should exist in the first place.

A relationship is between two different people that have their own views and projections on the world, their own principles to which they stand. Those may sometimes, if not very often, collide with each other. To have a healthy relationship you need to learn how to overcome this and not let it affect your relationship – of course, if we are talking about small things, and not about the fundamentals in life.

Even if you were to find the perfect match, it is nearly inhuman, I would say, to never make mistakes. In fact, you should make mistakes – as long as you acknowledge them and are truly sorry about that afterwards.

Compromise is hard and that is the understatement of the year. It is difficult to dose it. Too little you may come across as unsympathetic, stubborn and even obtuse. Too much and frustrations come that make you wonder if it is really worth it. It is not a simple recipe and I do not know it 100% – I`m sorry.

The only thing I can say is this: Reality is as you yourself make it and you should try to understand that the other one may have a different reality than yours. Neither is the right one and what you should strive to do if you truly love someone is to make those realities work well together but also let them breathe their own air.

Do not try to impose your view on the other. One thing may be the best for you, but no one should claim to have the absolute truth.

Many times, during heated arguments we say stupid things that we regret – another understatement of the year. Please, as much as you can, do try to understand each other`s opinions and if you do not agree with one another just try with: “Sorry, you may be right, but I cannot agree with you.” It is better than “You`re stupid, how can you think like that?”

To wrap things up, if you ask me, Love is knowing when and how to say you`re sorry. In a perfect world it would be never, but come on, we are not kids anymore and even fairy tales have their share of ugliness and disillusionment.


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