We all love and experience love differently, but do you know what is your love language? We all need love in our specific way, and there are various ways and behaviors you feel loved.
After Dr. Gary Chapman there are 5 love languages. Do you want to know your love language?
1. Words of affirmation
This love language refers to words that validate your personality. It can be compliments, feedback, or merely observations from your loved ones.
I often feel the need for validation, and you might be feeling that too. Words are a fast and efficient way to express your appreciation, affection, and encouragement towards your partner.
Just as words, gifts are a straightforward way to express appreciation. If this is your primary love language, this does not mean that you are materialistic, it just means that you need constant validation through the effort put into choosing one gift.
There is a love language in receiving but also in offering gifts. I often observed that people that like receiving gifts may not like that much to offer or otherwise.
For example, I know people that are expressing their love through offering gifts, but when receiving, they are less excited. They are more excited about the love and effort that were put into choosing a gift, than by the object.
3. Physical touch
We have all met people that feel more or less comfortable with physical touch. Hugging, kissing, or holding hands can be a way of reassurance for your partner.
Somehow society tells us that people that love each other have to show this love language, but do what suits you better.
4. Acts of service
This love language can cook, clean, or any other act of service you do for your partner. Simply helping or taking care of someone is a manifestation of love and care. Acts of service can be also putting energy into being near to their loved ones.
5. Quality time
Quality time means not only engaging in conversations but also the act of giving attention to your partner. For example, putting your phone away and listen attentively or being present in a simple moment next to your partner.
Being married or living together with your partner may often be perceived as quality time. But that is not. It is an illusion that you spent time with your partner.
It is important to put effort and energy into the activities you want to do with someone you are always near.
I could not find a reliable source that could confirm this, but I think that the love language you” speak” is not the love language you understand. For example, my primary love language is acts of service, primarily cooking.
I love taking care of loved ones with the mere fact of feeding them, and in this way, I get to test and develop my cooking skills.
But, I do not need the same love language. I want to be in love with the words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time.
Do you know in what language do you love? What about the language you understand love?
Here is a test that may help you. Keep in mind that these are just ways of showing your appreciation and everyone acts depending on the distinct pattern of their languages.
Although, there is a primary love language that determines your primary way of expressing love. These are only for orientation, but they are the only ones identified.
As you can see, these are very vague and can be in a zone that is not easily determined. For example, physical touch can be also quality time.
What about your love language? Are you a polyglot or are you still studying?