Why love fails? What if it is not an emotion or a choice, and instead, it is a choice, an everyday commitment? I don’t look at love the same I used to. That the difference between a feeling and a commitment: a choice.
If someone wants to be in your life, they will be. They will make efforts. They will make it happen. Even if they are gone, don’t blame them. Miss them, but don’t ache for them to come back. Let the ones that don’t deserve your good heart go. You deserve better, and they do, as well. They may be bad for you, but you can be in this position too. If you don’t understand each other, you are both toxic. If you love someone, but they don’t show you that they love you even if maybe they do, set them free. Everyone deserves the same efforts, the same energy. It’s about commitment, you chose to fix what’s broken and to create something better.
Instead of focusing on people who left you, focus on those who were always there for you. They are your people, even if it’s about a lover or a friend. The ones who stayed and appreciate you, for exactly who you are. The ones that make your life beautiful, to encourage you to grow and to evolve.
Trust me when I say that one day, you will miss those people. Those people who brought the best of you. You are so focused on those who don’t deserve your good heart, you’re rooting for the wrong ones. You’ll miss the best parts of life, the great moments, the ones you feel the most alive. Stop living in the past! The right ones won’t leave you and will treat you the way you deserve. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t lose the touch of something good, chasing what you no longer have control of.
It’s your choice to make it work, it’s not enough to love someone
Let me tell you a story I learned in a hard way. People fall out of love with the same reasons they fell in it. You may remember that little thing that you adored about someone? That thing might be the reason you hate that person later. I learned that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love isn’t enough. It’s a conscious commitment.
It’s heartbreaking to hear that loving someone harder it won’t make the relationship work better. It applies to a friend, too. When you love someone and you want to make it work, you simply make it work. Every day, you do something. You take care, make them feel loved and safe, support them, solve the problems with calm. Don’t make them doubt their existence or your love for them. No one deserves to question themselves everyday why they are not enough.
Some people are not as good as you may think
After I let someone took me for granted, I learned something. Don’t chase the person who loves you. Chase the person who puts efforts. The person who’d love to make you happy. A feeling isn’t enough. A person who inspires you, who bring the best of you. Someone who loves you everyday and they really show it. Don’t settle for less. Leave, even if it is hard. You lose time. Time, that won’t come back. Time when you could simply have been happy. Instead, you chose to be in a dead place. A place, which is harder and harder over time to get out. You need a lot of support and courage to leave that place. Once you move on, happiness comes in waves. It’s better to drown in waves of happiness instead of frustrations. Obsessive thoughts. Sadness. Tears. Anger.
You are enough. Don’t ever let someone make you doubt. Take care of the ones who love you. Look for the one who loves you. Look for effort, not words, for commitment. Take care of your soul and don’t waste your time, you won’t have that time ever again. Make it count!