Everyone is gossiped about, but I ignored the gossips and now I live just fine. Even the people who try very hard not to give others reasons to talk behind their backs. Ironically, even the people who are supposedly invisible are gossiped about. However, some time ago I started ignoring the gossips and now I live just fine!
Hate is everywhere and we can’t ignore it, all we can do is let this social wind take us away. And if you’re going to say that you’ve never been gossiped about, the chances are that you’re the main tattle subject.
I cared a lot!
I cared from the moment I learned what the “gossip” word meant. Although it happened ten years ago, I can still remember the first time I heard people saying mean things behind my back. The reason? I told some girls I had to go because I had a haircut appointment. Their conclusion? That I was a spoiled snob because I go to the salon.
You’re probably laughing now. I laugh too when I remember this story. The problem is that, back then, I wasn’t laughing. I would’ve probably cried but I was experiencing too many new feelings to be able to cry. My heart was pounding, I was shocked and embarrassed.
“My friends, whom I play with on the school hallways, think that about me? What if it’s true? How can I look them in the eye again if they see me like that?”
I’ve had problems with bullying, but being gossiped about is worse. Bullying was straight-forward. The gossipers were people who I was helping, persons who were pretending to be nice to my face, only to betray me a little after. Yes, I considered these chit-chats “betrayal”. Little drama queen!
However, I came back to my senses. Looking back, I can say that I was a victim of bullying, but not a victim of gossiping. Bullying is aggression and it can have serious consequences. Gossip is… bullshit.
I was having coffee with some girls, eight years after that episode. They weren’t the same persons, but that’s not the point. So you might be wondering what we were doing. Well, just like any other normal girl, we were talking about occultism, paranormal phenomenons, clothes, and makeup. But before they get to that, they gossip. A lot. And guess what I, the kid previously affected by gossip, was doing? Was gossiping, of course! And it’s not like I hadn’t done it before.
I never wondered if that person would be affected and I didn’t even have a personal opinion about that person. But that didn’t stop me from gossiping. Shame on me!
And then I asked myself: Why do I care so much?
Everyone gossips. Even if it’s wrong, it’s also extremely relaxing.
I gossip, you gossip, he/she gossips…
People gossip without having a concrete opinion, so how bad can be a little gossip? It’s not betrayal or disdain. If it’s extreme, you say things about the character of the person who started the conversation and not about the person who you are gossiping about.
Feedback is valuable. Try to see the good parts of gossips.
Just like in every story, something from the gossip has to be true. It has to start from something real and you can learn something from it. Stop asking yourself “How could they do that to me?” and analyze the situation. If you don’t understand much from the word “snob” or “stupid”, do what I do. Ask them what they really think of you or what you could change about yourself to be a nicer person. You don’t have to do those things just because someone else says so, the idea is to ask for feedback in a straight-forward manner. Maybe you can get some good advice and change something about your attitude for the better.
I, just like you, have been gossiped about for many reasons. I learned something from each one of these times. Some discussions helped me improve myself and this way, I started feeling better about myself. Other rumors helped me understand that some people don’t deserve my attention and that I have to avoid them, for my own good.
Moving past those frustrations, I improved myself!
You can read here how to change your life and to be a better person.
I prefer to consider these situations as a win-win. People take a break from their lives analyzing mine and I get to learn something from it. Even though it was not a profound life lesson, it was part of my evolution. I was a kid like all the others that used to get extremely mad when people were gossiping but, as an adult, if I can call myself that, I take the constructive things out of what doesn’t seem so constructive.