“I’m not a feminist, but…”
You’ve heard these words, isn’t it? You’ve probably even said them when you wanted to make a feminist statement, but you didn’t want to sound… you know… like a feminist.
Let’s play a little game. Put a finger down if you think that women deserve to be paid as much as men for the same effort. Another finger down if you consider that rape is not justified in any way. Another if you think that men and women are EQUAL, that no one is superior by their gender.
The chances are that you have 3 fingers down. If not, I respect your opinions, and I invite you to write them down below, in the comments section.
But if you do, congratulations! You are a feminist! Now make the “I’m not a feminist” speech starter vanish from your vocabulary. There are many other, more efficient ways of making yourself heard and understood as a feminist. You can even start with “Yes, I actually am a feminist. Let me tell you why.”
How to discuss your ideas with pride, but without sounding like a hysterical extremist? These points will be a plus in most debates, so check them out!
1. Make the difference between “feminist” and “misandrist”
The assumptions regarding the feminists come mostly from a lack of understanding of the term. Many people associate the feminists with the misandrists, who are actually the opposite of the misogynists. The misandrists just… hate men, while the feminists just want equality.
So, the first thing you have to do when you see that the person you are talking to seems kinda scared is to explain what feminism really is: equality, tolerance, respect. Who knows, maybe you are actually talking to a feminist, who was confused about the terms.
2. Be respectful, even though you want to choke your interlocutor to death
But of course, not all people are confused feminists. If they were, my article would’ve ended after the first point. Sadly, it doesn’t.
Some people will not argue with you as they should. They will use stupid arguments or even insult you. In such situations, you can easily lose your temper.
Well, being calm will help you take control over the discussion. By staying respectful even when you are attached, you show your maturity and, hence, your intellect. You show that you are confident about your beliefs and life principles, and this is how you’re more likely to make yourself understood.
3. Attack the ideas, not the person you are having an argument with
This point is actually connected to the previous one. Personally attacking the other will only make them understand that you have no more arguments. You know what happens when you have no more arguments. Exactly, you lose.
This is why should you be tempted to make a passive-aggressive reference, just remember that it will make you seem immature and undocumented. It would leave the impression that you do not fully know what you’re talking about.
4. Choose your words with tact
Everyone knows that information can be transmitted differently, only by changing the words. The same ideas can be expressed with respect, care and consideration, but also with superiority and hatred.
If you want the others to listen to you, choose the right words. Make them eager to learn more about what you are talking to.
5. Don’t be too emotionally engaged
Above all, please remember that people have different opinions, and that’s ok. You are not supposed to change someone’s opinion just because you consider yourself “more right” then them.
Expose your arguments, examples, put and answer to questions, but don’t leave your ego take over. Don’t make a debate match from an informal discussion.
After most contradictory discussions, the speakers don’t change their opinions. Obviously, you should be proud for protecting your principles, but don’t blame your interlocutor for not instantly becoming a feminist. Remember that the current is about tolerance and respect.
I hope my advice helped you. It certainly helped me while debating.
Do you have any other ideas? Don’t hesitate to comment them. Who knows who you’ll help!