As relationships nowadays are becoming more and more fragile and people are less inclined to fully commit to what it means to form a couple, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that many find themselves seeking some sort of counseling in hopes of strengthening the bond with their significant other. I’ll show you how to make your partner happy in 5 “easy” steps.
Essentially, the foundation of a healthy, long-lasting relationship contains the “classic” ingredients: trust, tolerance, respect, love and admiration towards one another and so on. But as every other facet of life, it is, most often than not, easier said than done.
Still, some skilled individuals managed to reach the top of the relationship pyramid – marriage. Congratulations! Now comes the hard part:
“How should I keep the spark alive?”
If you too are haunted by this question, this guide will assure smooth sailing with your spouse from now “until death do us part”.
1. It’s crucial that you strive to know your partner’s wishes and needs on a deeper level
First of all, now that you are past the wooing stage, it’s crucial that you strive to know your partner’s wishes and needs on a deeper level. Make sure that you really listen to what they have to say and take into consideration both your “love language” and theirs. According to Gary Chapman, author of this concept, there are 5 types: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.1 Each of them require a special kind of interaction with your partner, according to what they identify with. Of course, sincere communication is the key to finding this out.
2. It’s important to do things that you enjoy separately and to have some alone time every now and then
Secondly, you are probably going to be around each other most of the time, which means that there will be a sort of tendency to “morph” into each other. Whether it’s adopting mannerisms, hobbies or perspectives from your partner, this could eventually lead to monotony or unwanted tension in your couple life. A tip for avoiding this type of situation would be to maintain a sense of individuality. It might sound strange, but it’s important to do things that you enjoy separately and to have some alone time every now and then. Respect your partner’s choices and give them space, allow them to be their own person.
3. Remember what I said about alone time? This is a double-edged sword
It’s quite possible that what you do separately from your spouse will arouse their curiosity, and curiosity might lead to jealousy and an excessive sense of possessiveness, depending on the other’s personality. Here is where trust and setting boundaries comes in handy. No one wants to feel controlled or like their freedom is being limited. If you truly love someone, you won’t break their trust. It’s as simple as that. There’s no need for spying or elaborate plotting, or unlimited access to their phone (!)
4. Always keep in mind that before anything, you are partners in life
You are supposed to support each other and help with whatever challenge you both shall encounter. Know your place in the relationship – the same as your partner’s. Equality is not just an abstraction, it’s a real issue. No matter what your paycheck writes, or what your degree says, there shouldn’t be any discrimination against one another. Think of yourselves as two sides of a coin, you need both of them equally for it to have any value.
5. Last but not least, have fun!
Be spontaneous, spice things up, explore the world together and learn from each other. Take chances and make your partner feel special. No matter the age, there are infinite ways to show your love and gratitude and to make days memorable for “the one”.
This being said, every relationship is different, but should you come across one or more of the situations above, I hope my advice will prove helpful in the long run. Happy sailing!
The Five Love Languages: How to express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate, Northfield Publishing, 1992