How the hell should one get over a breakup?

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Whether you caught him with his pants down in the company of the supposedly „friendly” neighbor, or he’s 3000 km away and your relationship along with him, one thing’s certain. It’s a world of pain when you ask yourself how to get over it. You might have finished high school, so you’re parting ways, and you realized that your relationship was already dwindling. You’re alone, and maybe you just think that the A-hole right for your thousand requirements hasn’t been born yet. For us, the ones forever alone, corazón business is damn hard!

Not only that we want the sentimental bastard of our life to be handsome – or, well, a little cuter than the devil -, romantic, strong, tall. Not only we want his tee to be our dress, to be intelligent, so we could have interesting discussions. You never want a boyfriend who’ll ask you how’s the weather, he has a pair of eyes to see if the sun rose on your street or if the cloud is above his head. We want him to respond to our messages three seconds before we’d even sent them.

At least once in your life, you faced the problems of a girl without a boyfriend.

Well, dear girl, welcome to the club! If the teddy bear from hubby is still present in your room, his messages not yet deleted, we need to have a talk like grown-ups. If you still have that picture where you looked like a stuffed animal, while he showcased a large grin to the camera, and if you still cry listening to your favorite song and ice-cream in your lap, we need to talk. We need to find out how the hell you should get over after breaking up with Prince Charming.

Let’s start with the beginning. You had millions of choices on this planet, yet you chose Chad. Why? Only you know that. And your heart, your poor heart. What’s certain is that you fell in love. You had a short love story together. You were maybe thinking that you’ll be looking at pictures from the wedding and telling your grandkids about you. Maybe he thought you were the chosen one (Obi-Wan style) too. Somehow, somewhere, the chain of love broke. Who would have thought? You looked beautiful together. Yeah, yeah, I know. You still are. But, what do you know, the problem of public interest!

 

AND YET, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET OVER A BREAK-UP?

You say, my dear, that you don’t think about him anymore, ’cause time already passed and his memory is already erased from your heart. We both know that you couldn’t possibly invent a bigger lie. You put your heart on “mute” for a few months, only to hit yourself against the problem one random night. And don’t give me that talk about “bad mood” and stuff like that. Your words are only projections of the image in your mind, and you’ve cleaned up after him ever since he left. The eyes, my dear, they never lie. The so-called mirror of the soul got this name for a reason. The spark of love in your eyes hurts so much that memories gather and take shelter below your eyelashes. You only need one blink to have your cheeks stained by the burn marks of love.

You want to cry, and it would be good if you did, but you’re the one with an ego or at least pretend to be. A shame, your ego isn’t really that evident! You’ve let the scales tip in your favor so many times, hardships to hit you, and him still sitting on an imaginary pedestal. Nothing mattered before your smile and the moments of happiness. Because, whether they were good or bad, in those moments he was yours, he pleased your soul with small gestures.

Nowadays, however, al that’s left for you are shadows that dance in your dreams, in your soul, and sometimes, in your thoughts.

C’mon now, wouldn’t you want to give him a call? Even if you know you’ll wipe the floor with your heart just because of a call? What would you tell him? You know nobody will answer that call. This hurts as well, or more likely, it grinds your insides knowing that from now on, you’re just you and yourself.

What now?

C’mon, we’re crying together or what? You may not have someone to cry at 3 in the morning, desperate that you’re a weakling, but you may not even need to call anybody. C’mon, be egoistical about your pain! As long as you know you can bear it, keep it to you. I don’t ask you to isolate yourself from the world and demonstrate that you don’t need anybody, I ask of you to demonstrate that sometimes you only need yourself.

You’re feeling like crap, but for how long? A day, two, maybe three, but life asks for dynamism, craziness and you can’t give something like that when you feel like crap and beat yourself over it. What do I do when I feel like crap? If I don’t cuddle with one of the eight cats that I proudly own, I read, I listen to music, I drink coffee, I walk. Or, I gaze towards the stars, I daydream or, more simply, I do something that characterizes me. Here’s a tip! A good method of letting go of your past is changing your image. What image? Your own reflection.

If you are not sure that you are in a toxic relationship you can find here the answear!

New look, new you!

Let your ex frustrate himself that he’s a fool for letting go of you, show him that the planet spins without him and you don’t need a twat in your life to shine. Why couldn’t you do that? Why couldn’t you watch the cartoons that you loved as a child? Or, if it makes you feel good, why couldn’t you sleep all weekend? Why couldn’t you do something that makes you feel like yourself?

I know an even better one. The sun disappears over the horizon only to rise again the next day. And if a chapter ended it doesn’t mean the whole book is finished. Continue writing the story of your life and give the best happy ending. You’re a woman, it’s impossible for you to be unable to do something! So what if you’re flying solo now? You haven’t reached that chapter of the story just yet, but it doesn’t mean you don’t exist, it means you need to read on a little further.

How to find your gasp of breath that you need when you’ve closed shut every door and window, locked them and threw away the key? I can’t tell you how many times I was about to lose my air because I wanted to stay in that situation! I mean, if that’s what I see, then that’s what I do. NO! STOP! GET OVER! That’s what’s apparent, but I should go and look for what I need. And I went there, looking for me, the child, the crazy one, the wanton, the heart of the party, the naive, the happy. Now let’s go so you can start searching for what you need!

Authors: Ana-Maria Retegan and Gabriela Luigia Sterie

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