How I learned gratitude

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As you approach your mid-twenties, you start feeling that your life is meaningless, that you have not accomplished or learned anything, and that you were supposed to have it all by this age. Scrolling down your news feed, you see your middle school classmates already having children, and your high school friends getting important corporate jobs, while you’re in bed, with your blanket on top of your head, eating Choco Minis at 12 A.M. You start questioning your own existence, you think of whether you have made your parents proud…or yourself proud…or…have you even learned gratitude?

Sounds familiar?

Gratitude is said to be one of the most important human values, and if we talk about it in terms of spirituality, it is the highest vibrational energy. However, when you are an only child, and everything has been given to you for free, all the time, just because your parents love you way too much, it’s difficult to even conceive the idea that you might not deserve something, or that people don’t owe you anything.

It took me a few years to understand this, and a few more to accept it. My dearest ones telling me that I already had everything, that I was richer than most of the people (both materially and spiritually) felt such a cliche. Patience was all nonsense to me.

“I want it all and I want it now” – Freddie Mercury

Only when I realized that I was ruining my relationship with my “forever dissatisfied” attitude, did I decide to change my way of thinking.

I started slow – by writing – and created my little “gratitude journal” where I used to write, every night before bed, the good things that happened during the day – and if nothing happened I mentioned my good health, and the people I love, and the food I ate, and the roof over my head – followed by a caps locked THANK YOU addressed to…the Universe?

It felt so uncomfortable in the beginning because I felt like I was manipulating myself, and that made me feel lame. Despite this, I kept going, and, day by day, I noticed how my general attitude towards life started to change.

Calmer, more positive, and even starting to like myself more and not comparing myself to others, I understood that each one of us has their own path and their own “speed” in life. Whatever we see on social media are only results. In pictures, we don’t see the struggles and the work behind apparent happiness, which is why a lot of young people nowadays feel worthless.

I began to see, more and more, the bright side in every situation, until I no longer felt the need to write it down and the good was everywhere around me. That’s when I knew that gratitude took roots in my mind, and it reminded me that indeed, if you truly want something, your mind can help you have it.

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