This is more about expectations, about our boundaries, about the fact that we broke our own hearts by depending on temporary people. If we don’t have boundaries, if we don’t respect some limits, we will always lose. Take into consideration this, if your head is full of expectations you will forget how reality feels like. You will live an imaginary life, with temporary people, people who don’t deserve you, people who don’t value your existence. And why would allow this?
Why would you waste your time like this? Why would you be fine with having expectations of temporary people? What about boundaries and our dependence on people? Why we allow these things to happen when we don’t have time to be sad? Why we settle for less, we don’t impose our limits and boundaries, we allow things we know we don’t deserve but we lie ourselves that “it’s fine”? Most likely because we are scared. We are scared to assume, to impose, to say “no”.
1-YOU BROKE YOUR OWN HEART WHEN YOU LET THEM HURT YOU NOT FOR THE SECOND TIME, BUT EVEN FOR THE THIRD
This thing called “second chance” is questionable. I firmly believe that there is such thing as “second chance” but only if it’s followed by changed behavior, by changed attitude. Not by apologies and easy words, respect yourself enough to not allow this thing. Don’t let someone in your life come back if they still do the things that hurt you. Nothing will be changed this way, it will be toxic one day. Let these people go if they are not willing to offer you the things you need and deserve.
I can understand why there is a second chance, but about the third? This is already a choice. They choose to hurt you, and you choose to let them do it. This is how you break your own heart. By letting them do the things that hurt again and again hoping that they will change, expecting the same energy and efforts from someone who’s not willing to offer you the things you deserve and need.
2-YOU BREAK YOUR OWN HEART IF YOU DON’T SET BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS, AND YOU WILL LIE YOURSELF THAT THEY DID IT, BUT IN FACT YOU ARE THE BLIND ONE
This applies to everyone. When you meet someone, you should have from the beginning your boundaries and you should respect them. Don’t settle for less, and most importantly learn to say “no”. Some of us don’t want to see the reality and prefer to leave in a fairytale, because love, expectations, feelings took the control of our brains and we can’t see things clearly anymore. At the same time, we can handle it, we can get out if we stop and don’t allow this behavior anymore. If we respect our limits when it comes to someone.
We are all different so basically, our boundaries are different. If your boundaries mean not sleeping with someone from the first date, not telling how you feel about them before it’s serious to not ruin the magic. Maybe you prefer to not tell specific things about you, about your past, about your future plans. You choose what they know about you.
Try to not expect that the others have the same heart as you, the same mentality, they won’t do the things you would do or the things you do. Do what you feel, what you want, and when you know that someone isn’t matching your energy let them go and don’t be mad. Stop watering a dead plant, stop expecting a changed behavior after 10 chances, after meaningless apologies. All of these things will feed your anxiety, overthinking issues, anger issues.