I know it’s been a while since you tasted colors and you may think that healthy love doesn’t exist anymore and you will never have it. I know it’s a rough time Nobody stays forever in your life, a friend or a lover, they are seasonal people, seasonal relationships. And as you perfectly know, seasons change all the time.
The energy you share with them, the connections, they change. You part ways at some point and that’s ok, you will find the beauty in letting go. You will learn to let go and love yourself enough to do that. Your anger will fade away too. Anger is that part of you that takes care of you, that loves, that doesn’t allow mistreatment to happen to you again. It’s hard to see and to accept that. It’s toxic, indeed, to be triggered at the slightest touch, but this anger you have is how you protect yourself.
This is how you realize that the situation you are in, is toxic. I’m clearly not saying that being angry is the right choice or it’s healthy, but you need to learn why are you angry, so you’ll help yourself. Help yourself and next time, you won’t be angry. You’ll recognize the situation and you will deal with it with calm. You protected yourself by being angry last time, you learned why you are so triggered, now do it right.
It’s hard to see that out there, somewhere, there is someone for you who just wants to understand you. Who wants to get to know you, the real version of yourself. And also, who wants to learn about your past to understand how to love and how to take care of you. Because you’re special, your vulnerability and fragility make you special.
You need someone who cares about you and makes sure every day you are loved. You don’t deserve to go to bed crying and wondering why you are not enough, because you are more than enough. And trust me, that someone is somewhere in this world. The funny thing is about being ready, are you really ready to meet that person? Maybe you are tired of choosing the wrong people and always getting into relationships that bring nothing but stress and unfulfilled feelings.
Maybe you are ready to finally meet THAT person. But did you think that, maybe, that person isn’t ready? And this is why the waiting is so long? Maybe they are the ones who need more time to discover themselves, to get experience, to learn about the life, to get to know you.
WAIT FOR THEM AND BE PATIENT
Wait for them. If you are truly ready, wait for them, because one day, when you’ll look into their eyes, you’ll know the waiting was worth it. It was worth it every minute you waited for them. Their love will make you forget that you lost your time with the wrong people. Your love will be enough, your feelings will be valid, your opinions will matter, your overthinking will fade away and so will your anger. You don’t need to protect yourself anymore, their love will protect you for a very long time.
They are somewhere out there, don’t run now to find them because when you think the least, when you don’t expect it, you’ll see their eyes and you’ll remember what I said. Until then, heal yourself, love yourself, treat yourself, learn how to manage your anger, and get rid of your toxic traits you gained from the wrong people you’ve met in your life until now. Love yourself the way you loved them.
Maybe they are the same, maybe they are as broken as you are, you both need to find yourselves first, then you can find each other. Because a healthy relationship doesn’t know the definition of toxicity, anger, or things like that. Healthy love is beautiful and honest. So, be honest with yourself, then you’ll be ready for them.