Sometimes, when we really want a relationship to work, when we try our best, it’s still not enough and we have to grow apart. Even though it’s about a friend, a family member, or a lover, a heartbreak it’s still heartbreak. It still hurts when they leave, when you try your best and they don’t see it. It’s even sadder when you are the one in trouble and you don’t see that your actions and your behavior speak loudly to them. If it’s not coming from both sides, growing apart it’s inevitable.
It’s necessary to grow apart when things get toxic and you start to feel anxious around, to feel nervous, to feel like they don’t understand you and you can’t talk with them anymore, not like you used to. Maybe they feel the same, maybe they are the only ones who feel like this, but either way it’s the best decision, and the most hurtful one, to grow apart. Take some time, take some steps back, do your thing, they do theirs, and maybe in the future, you’ll find each other again.
It’s perfectly human, after some time, after a long time, to feel like you are fed up not only with your toxic traits and your behavior, your mentality, but they can feel the same way about them too or about you as well.
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE GROWING APART
There comes a time when you don’t feel like spending time with them, or talk to them, no physical touch, you don’t tell them the news anymore. You give up on discussions just to avoid “drama” (I will come back later to this one), you feel lonelier than ever when you are with them. There are different interests, and the worst one, every single thing you start a fight or an argument.
Referring to the “drama” part I’ve just mentioned, with the wrong people everything you say turns out as an argument or eventually a fight. But, you should know, it’s not healthy, saying what you feel, expressing your feelings and thought should not end in an argument. And because they are toxic to you they will simply call it “drama”.
WHAT HAPPENS ACTUALLY?
Usually, you would go to them and tell them the news, right? They would be that person for you, the one you’d run happily anytime just to tell them what happened in your life. But there comes a day when you just stop. They made you feel like it’s not important anymore and one day you wake up and realize you’ve had enough and stop bothering them. This is how you grow apart; you would rather tell other those news and this is the sadder part, you start replacing them.
When you have some free time and you’d usually spend with them, you’d usually tell them to go on a trip, to hang out, basically to spend your time together, now you’d rather use that time for yourself or with someone else. There’s no desire anymore, this is how you know you grow apart with them, when you give up on the thought of spending time with them, they don’t mean to you what they used to. You have other priorities. You’d rather invest in your future and move on.
You gave up on intimacy, and this is how things go to an end more quickly than you’d ever think. Now it feels weird, it feels wrong if you have intimacy, and I am not talking about sex. I am talking about physical touch, holding hand, things that are innocent but means a lot usually, that have an important role in the intimacy with someone.
You’ve got to a point where the talks are useless. You don’t even feel the need to express yourself. You don’t feel the need to explain yourself anymore and you prefer to avoid these difficult talks. This leads to an explosive character. You’ll find yourself one day fed up and your glass will explode and you’ll be a river full of aggressive thoughts and you’ll say a lot of things you tried to swallow throughout time. The next step is not having discussions anymore, at all. It’s obvious now that your ways started to be separated.
Now you’re lonely when you’re with them, they are not interested anymore and neither you. I really hope that if anyone has to deal with the situation to get through it fine and think that things will really get better one day. The day you let them go, you’ll be finally free and happy. Remember, we have to grow apart from some people to realize our worth and theirs.