Try to be more careful when it comes to your heart, it’s perfectly normal to make mistakes, but you should learn something from these situations. After a while your heart gets tired chasing the wrong one and one day you wake up so tired that you can’t even look at that person. Forgive yourself for giving your heart to the wrong one. Maybe neither of you know that, or maybe one of you knows, maybe you two are just pretending, but trust me, one day you’ll be tired and this is the best way to make room for anger, hate, trust issues.
OPEN YOUR EYES
A long time ago someone told me that if you meet someone and in that very moment your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go week, you lose your words, that’s not the one. In that moment you are falling in love with the wrong one. The one, who will break your heart because when you meet your soulmate, you feel calm. There’s no anxiety, no agitation. The only way to make this difference is to experience both: the heartbreak and the real love. I’m not saying it’s not love, it’s clearly something, something big and meaningful. It will have such a huge impact in your life, it will change you. This love, it may become toxic one day, but believe me it’s the one who changes you in the best way if you learn the right lessons and if you take the right decisions.
You won’t believe this until one day, when you wake up next to this person and think “why am I not enough?”. Why do you feel like your are not enough? It’s not the same person that made your heart exploded? You won’t admit it’s the wrong person until you meet your soulmate. Time passes and suddenly you are in a bad place, in a toxic relationship that once was perfect. Everything was perfect, you were laughing, you were having fun, you were talking about life, marriage, how perfect your life together will be. Now, you are wondering why you are not enough for the person you love the most.When you’ll leave this place, and trust me you will, you will have to unlearn all the toxic traits from this relationship. It’s a long way, it won’t happen over night.
IN OUR LIFE, WE HAVE HAVE 3 PEOPLE
The first one, is the one you love for the first time. Usually, it happens when you are very young, you are both innocent and you think it will last forever but unfortunately, it doesn’t happen every time. You are young, not everyone is willing to have a relationship from a young age, most of them want experience.
It may be your first love, it may hurt, it’s your first and maybe you don’t know what to do to get over it. Be thankful for that person for showing you how love tastes. How it feels to be nervous, to be excited, how a kiss feels, you are both young and if it’s meant to be you’ll find each other later when you are grown ups. If not, he was never the one. You have all the time in the world so be patient. Don’t hate them, instead be happy that it happened. Try not to be stuck in time because of a person.
EVOLVE, GROW, FOCUS ON YOU
The second person will change your life. This will be your heartbreak. You’ll lose yourself, you will find yourself in a place so dark that you will lose faith. You won’t be the same, ever again. But if you forgive, yourself and that person, this heartbreak will be a blessing. This is the person that at the first sight is the one. The words are sweet, the dates are perfect, you’re basically living in a movie. The same hand that shook in the moment you saw him or her, will be the same hands that will wipe your tears later. You won’t even see the day you fall asleep crying.
You won’t believe until he or she is gone, until you have to live without them at all. Because you didn’t wait and gave your heart instantly, you didn’t even wait to see, you are blind now. You don’t see how sad you are and don’t even realize and you can’t even let go. You are stuck and if none of you give up, then you will be stuck forever. Usually, this person is meant to change you. It hurts a lot, you’ll still have toxic traits, but one day it will be over. The tears, the fights, everything will be gone.
IT WILL BE HARDER AND HARDER…
You are so tired in this relationship, but you can’t see it. You feel tired, you feel exhausted, but you can’t let them go. That’s toxic, this is what makes this person the wrong one. You can’t let them go, they know you are unhappy, they know you are crying because of them. They aren’t willing to do something to fix it. They just say “you deserve better, I may be what you but not what you need” and they they leave. Just like that, they leave. And yes, you deserve better, don’t settle for less. You are so tired because you are trying to make them feel comfortable. You forgot you need this, too?
The moment when someone is aware, knows perfectly well that you suffer and doesn’t do anything about it, this is the moment you should let go. The right one will treat you the you deserve. Love isn’t suppose to make you cry. You love them unconditionally and you won’t let them go even though you cry every time you see them. If they don’t do it, you will be stuck forever in a toxic place.
The last person is your soulmate. Everything feels right, you are both calm, you don’t have to worry because guess what, you are enough. Finally, you are enough and that person loves you the way you are. That person knows when you’re not yourself and that’s a different kind of love. You may not end up together because life is unexpected, but deep down in your heart you know. You know it’s your soulmate and your heart will always crave its other half. If you find them, love them with all your heart because they are the one who deserve it. They are the calm in the storm.
DON’T BE AFRAID
Don’t be afraid to let them go. No one wants to heart it, but if we love them harder they won’t stay longer. The more you give yourself to them, the more you lose yourself. They’ll leave and they will leave with everything you gave them. Now, you have nothing and have to start over. Don’t be afraid to start over but remember this next time: don’t lose yourself again.
When you’ll have a healthy relationship it will be a challenge for you. This is the moment you realize how powerful you are. The moment I fell in love again after “that heartbreak” was the moment I realized I am more than I thought and I deserve so much better. In that very moment I had to decide: will I stay in the same toxic place he left me, or will I become the best version of me? Will I stay the same person and become toxic because this is the way I was used to live? The same person with anger issues and afraid of everything?
Letting him go with all my toxic traits was the best way to make room for what was waiting for me: my soulmate. The fact that I survived alone, that I could live without them, it was a confirmation for me that I am way much stronger than I may think sometimes.
Letting go is hard, is even harder when you don’t want to but you need to. If I hadn’t let him go, I would still be crying and thinking I am not enough and I don’t deserve good things. I found out what a great person I am in his absence. Just me, alone, enjoying my own company because he didn’t want to.
The lovers are not meant to take you on a journey, but to walk alongside you. They are not meant to fulfill you, but to appreciate you just the you are, to support you. They are not meant to break your heart every day, but to make you smile and to make you feel worthy and loved. When you’ll find yourself you’ll realize you don’t need them to appreciate you. You are imperfect, but filled with with so much love that it doesn’t even matter that you are not perfect. Your light is enough, if you don’t accept this, then you’ll never know you deserve better.