You would be surprised at the number of times you feel the need to shout or raise your voice at someone, or at the number of times you actually do it. You’d be tempted to say that this only happens every once in a while and that it is only because of “what others do to you”.
Have you ever thought about the ways in which your way of talking or expression affects your relationships and the people around you?
If not, I recommend that you do so. But if you have, are you content? Does the thought of losing loved ones make you happy?
Studies have shown that shouting or overall verbal abuse does not only affect children, mentally ill or more sensitive people, but also healthy grown-ups.
The effects of this are either short-term: sadness, anger, meltdowns, breakdowns… or even more serious and long-term: intrusive memories, eating disorders, self-harm, poor self-esteem, inability to set boundaries, PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation, drug and alcohol abuse etcetera.
In severe cases, it could even go as further as changes in the individual’s verbal IQ, or to damaged hippocampus cells. This causes it to shrink, thus reducing the individual’s capacity of retaining information.
Is the way you react related to the way that others approach you?
That may be one of the consequences of your attitude. If you are not treating everyone decently, whether that be consciously or not, chances are you will be treated as poorly. Kindness and patience are the most important things that one can possess throughout his life.
Even though someone may be treating you poorly unfairly, shouting is not the answer. There’s always another way out.
Do you feel like you don’t have any authority in front of the people you are talking to? Guess what, you do not even need to. As human beings, we are all equal, no matter the age. A 16-year-old could even be as wise as a 73-year-old. In fact, wisdom is not even what matters. As long as we’re alive, we are all equally valuable. The feelings of an elderly do not matter more than a toddler’s.
It is all just a matter of perspective.
Life is not about what happens to you, but about how you react to everything that’s happening to you.
If you ever feel the need to raise your voice at your kid for something as ordinary as getting a bad grade, then you’re doing it all wrong.
What if there are things that are really bothering or worrying you? Well, use your imagination. Say your opinion in a creative and non-offending, nor abusing way.
You know what they say, “an empty barrel makes the most noise”. The quality of your words is more important than their volume. Don’t shout! Use your imagination!