Confessions of a silly gamer – Episode 1

or how I lost myself to Bloodborne

Confessions of a silly gamer
I would like to start this Confessions series with a game I so hatefully adore – Bloodborne. From Software is well-known for creating some punishing, yet beautifully immersive video games and I still went into this game light-hearted and silly and I said, “Bring it on!”. And, oh boy, bring it on it did. My previous gaming experience could not have prepared me for what was to come.
Now I will not bore you with the completely irrelevant history about how I became a not so pro but passionate gamer, however you should know this: I am one who mostly dwells in fantasy RPGs, horror games or interactive adventure games.

First time`s a charm

I died. And started laughing as I was also a little baffled by the intro cutscene that made no sense to me. And then after I first entered the Hunter`s Dream – the respawn area, let`s call it – and got my first weapons and read the first tutorial notes, I faced the beast again and died laughing. This was something you never experience if you are a silly gamer like me.

Keep holding on

The first game I ever played on the PS console was Mortal Kombat and it taught me how to win without having a clue what I was doing. I call it the bashing buttons like crazy method.
Weeeeell, Bloodborne totally smacked me in the face. You silly child, it said, this is not how we do it here. So, in the first hour of gameplay, I hopelessly died some more and almost learnt nothing from my mistakes.
Then I sighed and took a break. It is important to admit defeat and it is also crucial what you do after you notice that you suck at something that you so badly want to be good at. Instead of crying in the corner like a little kid you need to pat yourself on the shoulder and say You got this. Then go into the game and die again. While you laugh and say Next time, I`ll get you.

Thinking about what you did wrong in life

Bloodborne is not the cute game that takes you by the hand and says Good job, here, have a candy. Even the text you get when killing a boss, Prey Slaughtered, is somehow despairing. It does not give you a clear, finely polished story, instead you need to puzzle it together from different sources. With this game you learn the importance of constantly adapting yourself, of parrying and dodging with a near-to-perfect timing. It teaches you to grind your teeth and get better or get gone.
I abandoned it shamelessly at some point.

To be continued


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