Communication with your family – a toxic relationship


Since we were little, everyone’s been telling us about this one thing : communication is essential, especially communication with your family, in any way shape or form. In other words, we’re supposed to search for support in the people that brought us up. Otherwise, we end up choosing loneliness because we lack humanity.

No matter how much they try to be close to us, it often happens that they cut our wings at every step.

They see us as the top of our class, as the most successful and as rich people, working desk jobs and taking care or them when they’re old. Obviously, these “successful kids” are included in their own ideals. Sometimes those ideals are things that they wouldn’t do themselves and that they push onto us.

If my mom wanted to be a medic and she failed, then for sure I have to be one. If my dad wouldn’t be an engineer, then I’ll be one in his place.

Have you ever asked yourselves, dear parents, what kids really want?

No! Of course not. You only know how to project your failures and use your children as some sort of “youth fountain”. You encourage the robot mechanism, instead of helping us form our own opinions, instead of showing us how to be people.

Why do you want us to fulfill your dreams? Why do you want us to be the scapegoats for your mistakes? Why can’t we have our own dreams?

From all the people that put pressure on us you are the ones that destroy our dreams with the first “NO” and the first palm across the face. Why? Because you call yourselves family, then drive us away if we dream bigger than you!

We ask you, we beg you, let us grow freely!

You hit us with words, fists, we moved on but we never forgot. We never forgot how you crushed our dreams and happiness. You marked our childhood, you hit our adolescence and  you automatically changed our adulthood.

A parent, a mother, a father and sometimes even a tutor should be the protector of a innocent, pure being that comes into this world filled with unknown and that needs a guide  to not like itself.

Parents are the people you should expect from a “Good morning!” when you get out of bed. Instead, they throw you the usual “Don’t you have something better to do than slack around?” This is how every morning of ours begins — the ones that want a united family.

They call themselves the people that support us the most, in anything. Sadly they don’t realise the fact that they are the people that bring us down with their indifference. This and the fact that they blame their children for all that’s wrong with them.

Maybe you didn’t have a great life, maybe you weren’t given what you wanted and maybe it is our fault. Although, if you didn’t want us, we wouldn’t be here now.

We know that sometimes we are wrong too, but we need you, the most important people in our lives. We need you to do more than swearing and yelling at us.

When you are at the beginning of the road, you put your trust in your parents. On the road, you realize that in fact, you are alone. Communication with a family  is important only IF it’s healthy. Never hesitate to eliminate people in your life that drag you down even if it’s hard to do so.

You are not born to be your parent’s slaves. Dream, create, make, be yourselves and not some servants for people that wouldn’t fulfill their dreams.

Laura Bîrgăoanu
Szabo Antonia Alexandra


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