Growing up with two younger sisters, I have realized how important sisterhood is in anyone’s life. It is not just fun moments for sure, but every single hard moment does nothing else but builds a stronger bond, that will certainly not be broken.
During the years, I found some pieces of advice that I think will be helpful for big sisters that are, at times, overwhelmed by their role in the family.
-
Try to build a friendship with your sibling
Sisterhood is clearly something that is not up to you. But when it comes to friendship, we can choose whether or not we will be friends with our siblings. Even though it is not an usual friendship for a lot of reasons, it can be one of the best relationships that we can ever build.
I know that it is very likely to be completely different from your sibling, but you can become best friends by leaving all the differences aside. But it surely depends on everyone’s case. For me, it took a while to find this side of our relationship with one of my sisters.
We grew up to be very different and did not actually spend time together until my second year of high school. But from that moment on, we have been almost inseparable. We listen to each other, help each other out, do our best to understand each other in difficult times, go out together, have fun, and travel together.
Trust me, there is nothing better than creating all these memories with your sibling. But do not forget to be realistic, even if you have a wonderful friendship with them, it is inevitable to exist fights and all kinds of discussions.
-
Do not forget that you are only their big sister, not their mother
Personally, during the years, I found myself in a lot of situations in which I forgot that my responsibility as their sister is to be there for them, give them advice, share with them what I go through, but not act like their mother.
The mother’s responsibility is to raise them and prepare them for life, an action that is not easy to do by another child. For me, where the age gap between me and my first sister is only two years, would have been impossible to actually teach her something about life, since I am only now experimenting it for myself.
But once I finally understood that my role as a sister is completely another one, I was able to create a more connected relationship with my sisters.
-
Help them out, but do not create dependency
Trying to be the best sister sometimes turns into a dependent relationship between the siblings, creating toxic behavior. They have to understand the boundaries of your relationship and respect your privacy and your decisions when needed.
It is obvious that you will help them whenever they need, that you will, in certain circumstances, give up your plans for them, that you will listen to them whenever they are in trouble, but if you do not set some reasonable boundaries from the very first beginning, there is a high likelihood that they will never understand when you refuse one of their wishes.
For that reason, when dependency appears, the relationship between siblings have a lot to suffer. There should be a mutual understanding of the fact that there are times when one of you will have their own problems and will not be able to help the other out, but I am sure that they will do their best to be there for them in some other way.
-
Learn to focus on yourself too
This is one of the most important pieces of advice that I can offer as a big sister and it is in strong connection with the previous one. It is because when your sibling is that dependent on you, you, as a big sister, may have the tendency to put yourself second in every possible situation.
That is a mistake that will not only affect yourself but also your sibling. Once you forget about your own problems, a lot of fights may arise. The relationship should be of huge importance for both of you and, regardless of the age, each one should help the other in each way they can.
