How often did each and every one of us hear “you know nothing” as a child? That we should keep quiet. That we shouldn’t interfere with the adults and their confersations? Adults and kids – an open debate, a never-ending fight or a lost cause?
How often have we felt unimportant to the people we cared about? People who were supposed to enourage us to be confident in our own opinions without fearing criticism.
Adults tend to project societal standards on us or simply the person they failed to become.
They are the people we trust the most. So, it makes you think, aren’t they supposed to help us discover ourselves? To allow us to grow into our real selves, without repressed feelings and thoughts? The way adults around you treat and see you will determine who you’ll become later on in your life.
The superiority complex of adults, be them teachers, parents or relatives, can tear down a child’s self esteem. It makes them feel incapable, sending the general idea that the kid is not good enough, smart enough or worthy of unconditional love and appreciation. These toxic behaviours are they primary reason why kids grow up to be insecure people.
They become unable to respect, acceept and trust themselves, oblivious to the concept of being allowed to express and sustain an opinion without dreading external judgment.
Adults are in no way supperior to kids.
A healthy realtionship between an aduld and a child should be based on equality.
We wish for our kids to become fully capable adults, who know how to cope with unpleasant situations, while simultaneously silencing them with every occasion. Also, we don’t allow them to tell us what is bothering or harming them. We interact with our kids from a perspective of superiority. This is making them feel sad, lonely and unimportant.”
Too many times, during our childhood, we heard the same old song of “It is none of your business what the adults are discussing!”. And it was just enough to silence us. Still, we frown upon the idea of ourkids becoming shy and insecure about their abilities and opinions.
On one hand, we have the standards for girls.
Girls are expected to always listen to the opinions of others and please everyone. They should always put others first and not think about what they want. This is what transforms them into sumbissive, who won’t be able to see their self worth. They will also not know how to love, becoming entangled in codependent relationships, believing that their own wishes and needs are dismissable.
On the other hand, boys aee instructed to be strong ever since childhood.
They must not show their feelings or emotions, they aren’t allowed to cry and be weak in front of others. These concepts give man the impression of superiority, makes them believe they need to be patronising and heartless beings, that nothing hurts them. In actuality, they need so much love and affection.
Kids should be heard.
A healthy relationship between a kid and their parent should be based on communication and a deep mutual understanding.
More often than not, grown ups tend to look at kids as clueless beings, incapable of ingaging in important and mature conversations. In reality, kids have so many things to share and they can teach adults very important life lessons.
If they would stop for a moment to look at the joy and inocence found in th eyes of a child, they would start understanding many things.
In this constant race for material stability, they forget the essence of happinnes and inner peace, but kids are just pure innocent souls and if adults would simply look at the energy and happiness with which kids play, then surely they would say that there’s nothing to learn form kids.
A lack of attention, affection, love and understanding that a child needs, leads to emotional scars and a dysfunctional adult. Thesepeople will always need others to depend on, constantly seeking validation and love, which makes them prone to accepting and tolerationg toxic relationships that will mirror the feelings they had as kids: loneliness, sadness, feeling missunderstood and unappreciated.
An adult who is able to realize that they are the only person who can offer themselves what they are seeking so desperately, will be the one to achieve fulfillment.
We are the only ones capable of mending our own wounds, we can offer ourselves all the love we need. Those around us will be there to walk along us on this world.
If you want to know more about the relationship between adults and kids, check this article.
Author: Bianca Păun