I often hear that young people are too immature.
They do not know what “complicated” means, like life or similar things, not to mention maturity. I am not saying that this isn’t true (not to be hypocritical), but let’s not put everyone in the same boat. Some have forgotten what a teenager’s life means and that’s a big problem. I hope you sleep peacefully at night, or…, do you even sleep? You’re minding other people’s business, I forgot, sorry! As we all know too well, there are lots of exceptions, so let us be honest and try to elaborate. Premature adulthood… what’s that?
It seems essential to me to accept the idea that every existing thing comes with strong and weak points. The best example I can give you, without offending or annoying anybody, is my life.
Origins of the problem.
From an early age, having a sister with various disabilities and a poor financial situation, plus many other problems, I had to adapt to certain conditions, which made it more difficult to accelerate the pace of intellectual and emotional development.
What does becoming an adult at a certain age mean?
Firstly, there is a difference between your perception of your environment, compared to the perspective of the people your age surrounding you. The great “existential” questions that rummage your brain. They make their presence felt earlier, developing into certain unrest, frustrations that perhaps you will not have with whom to talk, because “you are too small to understand some things” (I’m quoting this from a very dear person, with a pinch of irony).
Secondly, it is also a huge bonus. I see many young people who can’t decide what career to follow or who oscillate between so many ideas about the future. They have no idea what passions they have, what they are going to do with their life, etc. while some do not have this problem.
Great instability combines with “loss in space” state
Both of them reach to your heart. A teenager who had the bad luck/luck of forming more mature thinking earlier has stability in thought and, hopefully, higher self-esteem, more lucidity of thought. These things are contained in the personal example, which, as is more obvious, differs from specimen to specimen. I met people with completely opposite characteristics from those presented above.
We are mature, but how do we handle the bad side of things?
On the road, obstacles may appear that, instead of raising you, lower you even further. For example, a child with emotional wounds due to parents’ fights, which are usual occurrences, induce in him certain emotions. Or as it was in my case, a distorted view of reality due to lack of affectivity. Because it is never enough, let us assume that he has wonderful colleagues, who are verbally aggressive to him (in a good, but not at all acceptable case), he is accumulating frustrations.
Look, this is the bad part.
Our child, who has gathered enough for him, unconsciously (or not) makes a choice. Either he learns something from this situation and will rise above the “abyss” (nobody says that their wounds will disappear – this is the bad part) or sink, becoming a failure, lacking emotional maturity. Teenager dramas are part of the process of growing up, self-knowledge, where you must ACCEPT OR CHANGE. There is no middle way (unless you want to live your life full of signs that wave at you from the past, putting obstacles in the future).
Take care of yourself, don’t be stupid!
Of course, there are processes that can be achieved in time, which can take you up and down. As I said above, and I will allow myself to repeat, it differs from specimen to specimen. There are different problems that create different scars for each one of us, depending on maturity, BUT that does not mean that we cannot be here for each other. What the heck, we’re humans, after all.
Let’s be humans!
As a small parenthesis, passing through everything I’ve gone through, thank God that I managed to get to the surface. The holes once made in the past are still there. Maybe I’ll cover them at some point. But until then, they must not be an obstacle to achieving my goals or a cause for isolation, etc.
Let us aim to stand by those around us.
As long as possible. We should always like them for their point of view, so we can understand them. As much as we can, as best as possible. Such an approach would not be bad. Sometimes we do not understand the people around us because our own opinion blurs our view. So, let your guard down, open your heart, you might not regret it!
A lot of teenagers suffer from the syndrome of premature adulthood, but I think it’s for the best if you try to discover yourself. If you want to know more about this, check this article!
Author: Ștefan Ciobăniță