No one can tell you when or who to fall in love with and no one can forbid you. But it’s good to know a few things when it happens. It’s like when you do work protection (for some it’s vital, for others it’s irrelevant). So… What should you know before you fall in love?
Here are 7 things I would have liked to know for a long time:
1. “Your arms will forget the other arms, and in your arms, it is sometimes better to embrace yourself.”
It is very important that before you love someone else, you should love yourself a little. “People meet, love each other and sometimes break up, just because they have been reckless enough to know each other.” When you are left alone, it is a great plus to realize that, in fact, you have lost nothing. You stayed as good, as strong, but with a little more experience.
What I mean is: how many times a day do you look in the mirror and smile? Before you fall in love with someone, you should fall in love with yourself. Or at least think of yourself as often as you think of others? Yesss. It is very strange how it is easier for us to love one another instead of loving ourselves, and yet we call each other “selfish”. I know that if you read to this point, it sounds like a cliché to me, but I definitely wanted to include that in these 7 things, so that no one would feel degraded after a possible (very likely) breakup.
2. When someone asks me what love is, I will answer them with a smile, because no word has the power to describe in depth how you feel when you are in love. I know for sure that a smile will encompass my entire existence in love and that anyone who wants to understand will understand.
There are so many definitions in the world for love that people have begun to create their own explanations, fearing that they might memorize a wrong definition. And I have my hypothesis, but too vague to share it with others. However, I have found some definitions that I have fully experienced: “Love means entrusting your heart and soul to the one who will crush you.” Some would say this is called stupidity, not love.
But who can deny that a man in love is not vulnerable? “Love is the only programmed deception, the only predictable misfortune that you always and always want.” Through this paragraph, I want you to understand that no matter how hard you try to understand what love is or to find a complete and correct definition, you will not succeed. That doesn’t mean it’s not good enough to try.
3. Before you fall in love you should know that… Love in the movies is not real; so stop thinking that at sunset a prince will come and save you. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I know you deserve this and your story will be like fairy tales. The difference is that fairy tales are not the ones we read when we were kids. The fairy tales are, in fact, the moments you live. Every time you are “spellbound”, try to memorize the sensations and feelings you are experiencing and prolong them as much as you can. He will not kiss on the first date, he will not turn into a fairy at 12 o’clock and he will not walk with a flying carpet. But it will certainly make things much more beautiful, things worth writing in your journal. It won’t be perfect, but it will be true. And being true matters more than being perfect, because no one is perfect, my dear. Remember this!
4. Another important thing, which I realized too late, is that perfection is when you experience something imperfect: the first meeting does not go well, the person is late or who knows, may not even come. They forgot. And it is also normal for unpleasant things to happen, because otherwise how would you learn to appreciate someone who is striving?
The only sad thing is that, almost always, people who are doing their best and trying hard, are not observed. We, humans, have the (innate) tendency to run after something we can’t have. If it was about dreams, I totally agreed, but in terms of love, you can’t play catch with someone who doesn’t want to be caught. Right?
Sometimes it is very difficult to suck it up and bite the bullet, but this is completely necessary to get over it. Any rejection, failure or regret must be understood so that you can learn something from all your love, and then forget about it. It is important to forget, even vital. Think about how it would be to remember all the childhood friends you never talked to, all the cats you didn’t care for, or all the kids you didn’t play with anymore? It would be very sad to remember all this, and almost impossible.
I believe that in a relationship you have to keep only the beautiful moments for which you are smiling, and I wish you always find yourself smiling. (Whether you hear my name, or you see someone eating cereal milk or our song on the radio.)
5. Every man on the planet has principles that are guides in life and certain personal “rules” that he never violates. Never, that is, until he falls in love. Then, “never” becomes just an exception.
I believe in magic and love, but sometimes love puts us in very stressful situations. What I mean is that, no matter how hard you try, sometimes you have to choose between principles and the person you are in love with. Here’s the problem: what do you do when you have to choose between these two issues? Some would say that you don’t violate your principles for anything in the world, but others argue that for certain people, under certain conditions, it is worth stepping on your heart. And I did that, I ignored a few principles, and it went wrong. It’s not necessary to have the same experience, but you need to be aware that it can happen. And then, you must be prepared to forgive yourself, for the evil you have done to yourself.
It’s not hard, but it hurts. And it hurts, just because you don’t expect it to hurt. Weird, isn’t it?
6. Someone once told me that a teenager in love is a born poet. At the moment I didn’t understand what that meant, but after a year, I realized what it was about.
When you love, you are happier, kinder and more artistic. Whatever you create in these moments, it necessarily becomes art. It is not compulsory for your art to be seen by others, but I tell you that after a while when you accidentally stumble upon your work of art, all the butterflies in your stomach wake up. Those butterflies that you thought died once the relationship was over. It’s true, you want to cry, maybe you do, but I swear, nothing compares to the feeling that creates a pure memory (as you translate it into a drawing, poetry or song or anything else). The evidence remains that, somewhere in the past, you were able to live a perfect love or more than one.
There are other cases, as I have experienced, that the inspiration strikes you just when the loved one has left you. That’s ok, you still have time. And from your art, whether it is late or not, there may be things to be proud of later, such as this site and the article you just read. All of this is my journal art and I share it with you so that I’m not alone.
7. I’ll leave this blank because you always have to give a piece of advice to yourself.
P.S .: I hope to be better prepared next time.
So, before you fall in love you should know what love really means. If you want to know more about this subject, check this article!
Author: Sabina Semenciuc