Red flags are more or less obvious (and ugly) behavioral signs that can be used as warnings in your relationships with other people. Whether we are talking about friendships, romantic or familial relationships, you have to be careful. Even when talking with strangers, seek out for these five red flags! If you find at least one of them in the behavior of the people surrounding you, you should be more careful.
I’ve seen so many cases of this issue, especially in romantic relationship. OK, it could be cute saying “you are mine” (although I really don’t agree with this saying) but things can get out of control. Have you had your loved ones searching through your stuff? Not letting you do something or go somewhere just because they “said so”? Telling you to stop hanging out with a friend although that friend is a great person? What about controlling your social media accounts?
If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you should speak up. This possessive attitude is a sign of low self-confidence and although sometimes you can talk things through, this behavior can become one of the most dangerous red flags. If things are getting rough, seek help.
The aggressive type does not always mean the physical violent behavior. Aggressiveness can be passive, can be verbal or psychological. For example, I remember when I was younger I’ve seen the boyfriend of one of my acquaintances yelling at her to do something. Then, again, insulting her, making it seem like a joke. And then even raising his hand and although he didn’t hit her, it was an obvious sign.
Things could get violent if he is alone and snaps. If you find yourself in situations similar to these you need to leave immediately. Sometimes it’s really hard to leave an aggressive person: out of fear, shame or because they may be a family member. However, this exceeds the territory of red flags. It’s endangering your life!
Let us give an obvious and a little exaggerated example. Your parent keeps hurting you, maybe emotionally, maybe physically. And whenever you try to stand up for yourself they bring petty “arguments”. “I will harm myself if you tell”, “It will make your loved ones sad to know that”, “You have no power over the situation”, “You will be the one to suffer if you do this”. If anything similar has been said to you, you should sleep with an open eye. Manipulative people are sly, sneaky and will play with your mind. Do not fall victim to their petty excuses and ugly lies! Try to break free from their control as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, I’ve meet this type of people way too many times. They can be the combination of all the red flags mentioned before just so they can use you. Their only goal in the relationship that they have with you is to gain something. It might be something material, like money, homework, projects or something more emotional, such as people attention. This type of people seem people that you could really be friends with, but as time goes on their goal might come clear.
The ugly part in this is that you can hardly tell when somebody uses you as soon as you meet them. Only time or really obvious lies can tell their real reasons. Be careful and analyze their behavior. Do they help you back? Do they support you even after you helped them? Do they insist, more or less, on wanting to do, own or make something? Sooner or later their true goals will be unveiled. Until then, try not to give anyone everything they want.
The Reckless Individual
You most surely saw at least one reckless person. People who cheat, act wildly, get into fights, spend money and time on things that damages them, they are all reckless people. If your friend, family member, colleague or lover resembles this type of person, you should avoid them. Most of the times, this type of comportment are easy to recognize among other red flags. In contrast with “users”, reckless people do not care if they are exposed. They don’t really care about anything.
Because of their hedonistic nature, of seeking only pleasures, having them beside you can represent a big problem. I’m not saying that spontaneous or (pleasingly) surprising people are reckless. The difference is that reckless individuals do not think about the consequence of their actions!
If you identified at least one of these red flags in one of you loved ones or you acquaintances you should be careful and cut ties with them as soon and as much as possible. And if you identified yourself in these examples you have to get your life together. Find a productive hobby, help others without wanting anything in return. Be calm, rational and try to emphasize with others!