Let’s talk about healthy relationships. I’ve never been into a healthy relationship before and those manipulative and toxic relationships only made me lose myself. Now I have to unlearn the toxic traits they gave to me, I didn’t even realize that I am the toxic one now. But how come? Because I need every day the reassurance that I am enough and sometimes I tend to be overdramatic. I came to the conclusion that an overthinker needs someone patient and this is the best way to get rid of those thoughts.
IT’S OK TO SAY NO
I used to do things I didn’t want to or things I didn’t like to. I used to agree just for the other one, for him to be happy. Without my consent, a lot of things happen. Because of this, today I have the biggest problem: I can’t say no. In a way, it’s something good, that you care for someone, but it’s important to care about yourself too. If you don’t want to do something, please don’t do it. Think about yourself first, put yourself first, and then the other one. Trust yourself when it feels wrong.
YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT GETTING INTO A FIGHT
This is by far the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. Technically, this is the basis for this kind of relationship. Being able to tell your partner how you feel, maybe you feel like they were mean to you at some point. Maybe you need reassurance or just feel the need to talk about yourself and your feelings mean that it’s the right person.
If this person is talking to you with patience, is listening to you, and actually taking into consideration your thoughts, keep that person close to you. This is the reassurance you need, someone who doesn’t tell you you are not enough, your feelings aren’t valid, your opinions aren’t important, and yelling all the time. Someone who takes care of you and shows you every day how important you are and how much you mean for this person. It’s important to feel yourself, to be able to express how you feel without hesitation.
YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN EVOLVE WITH THEM
If you feel like you can evolve, not only with this person but separately, you as a person, as an entity, as an individual, then you found your person. If no one can influence your relationship, then it’s healthy. Of course, when this person pisses you off or says something wrong and your first instinct is to talk to them about this, not to others, then it’s also, a healthy relationship.
I was used to fights, tears, sleepless nights, obsessive thoughts, and with the right person, I got rid of them. I still have bad days, but I am grateful that there’s someone patient who’s there for me while I am learning how to love myself again. Find your person and never let go! Be in a healthy relationship!